The Story of Us

The Story of Realizing

I have cried too hard over a stupid boy these past three weeks. 

So hard that I was throwing up half the time.

And in the past three weeks I have lost a lot of weight.

About 26 pounds.

I know I shouldn't be this upset. I mean I don't even love him. I am just being over dramatic but I can't help it. I masked most of my feelings until this year when I found it easy to open up to Parker. Sure, Vinnie got a bunch of emotion out of me and I tell her everything but there is always someone in your life who you open up to more than anybody else. And for me that was Parker.

And I'm afraid.

Afraid that the three months I have known Parker will be the only time I have freed all my emotions.

But he doesn’t seem miserable. That’s for sure. He ignores me every time I see him. Besides the non-stop calls I have caught him kissing other girls. In English class he is always texting a random new girl. I obviously was just another of his little play-toys. Or whatever you want to call it.

Every time I saw a smile on his face in school, that wasn't caused by me, but from some stupid bimbo he's been texting I end up charging to the bathroom before anyone can see me cry and throw up.

Not to mention the fact that he looks like a fucking god and I look like the witch from Snow White. I've got bags under my eyes and my lips are cracked.

My hair is dry and greasy and the only reason I smell good is because Vinnie practically dumped Such a Flirt by Victoria's Secret on my body.

Which ended up with me having a coughing fit.

Yet Parker looks like Prince Eric, fricken a-hole looks like all the princes but in real life. Surely he noticed my change. I was always hunched over, half-asleep and yawning. And even sometimes I would be sleeping in class and that is the thanks to no sleep at night and thinking about the ifs. 

And I would think Parker would at least be a little affected about our break-up. But no. The day I went back into school he had some bitch hanging on his arm like a bee to fucking honey.

So, I continued on haggardly and drowsy for those 21 days. And I heard through Vinnie that she and Reece have been fighting over Parker and I and who was right. Which put me in an even worse mood because I'm the center of that fight.

And I fucking hate how I feel like this.

Hate it, because I realized something. Something important that I know I will never be able to say to Parker.

That I, even though he has some new whore every-day, for some reason a in love with Parker Campano.

And I hate it.

Parker.