Dear anonymous

Chapter one

I lay in my bed wondering about who I am, as the cold are collecting in my room from the open window brings the room to a chill. "How did I get like this?" I ask myself while looking into the darkness of the outside listening to the frogs peep by the water. "Is it my fault?" I ask again as I take a drag from my cigarette. My thoughts where interrupted by the sounds of footsteps coming up the stairs to my bedroom. I quickly put out my cigarette and lay in bed hoping they will go away, they stop at my door "shit shit shit" I mentally swear to myself hoping they just go back down stairs.

My racing mind is calmed by the sound of footsteps walking back down stairs, "what is wrong with them..." I whisper to myself as I relight my cigarette. "What's the point in all this? No matter how much I try... I never be good enough. Why can't I just except myself? It's because of my damn father!" I rant to myself. "Without his constant nagging about my looks and weight I would never be like this! What did he expect from me... does he want me to look like a stripper?!" I get up and walk to my closet the mainly consists of tight pants and short shorts, along with the occasional crop top or baggy sweater from some guy.

I sigh as I lay out the sweaters on the floor looking at each one "damn" is all I can think. Each one hold a memory of the guy. The long black sweater belonged to a boy who had good intentions but just hung out with the wrong crowd. The blue one was a sports nerd, he didn't have much time for anything other then practice. The red one was from a quiet boy, he was my favourite of them all because even though he was shy he could fuck hard.

I neatly fold the rest back and place them in my closet as I read the clock to see it's 2am. "Fuck" I sigh knowing it's going to be a bitch to get up at 7 tomorrow. Or should I say today? I take one last drag of my cigarette before throwing it in an ash tray and falling asleep to the sounds of the frogs by the water.