Everything is black and distant and so am I.
I have cut myself off form the world for a long time now.
I honestly don't know if I'll everyone turely come back or fit back in with society.
All will ever feel is pain and nothing more.
Pain and darkness has consumed me and I can't escape from it and I never will. But that's okay, I've lived all my life so, I'm used to it.
Eternity in pain and darkness isn't so bad, or at least not for me.
It's become my identity, 'Lily the who always feel pain and who's stuck in the darkness for now and for ever.'
Trust me when I say I'm fine with now, before it used to bother me but not anymore.
It's who I am and for some reason I feel comfort in pain and sorrow, so you could say that pain is my 'Happiness' and that's fine by me.
How I look at things isn't how my family look at them.
They force me to go to concluding and to go my psychiatrist, but I don't want anymore and quit Fernley is don't need to, because I'm fine and that's all that matters, right?
So my family can leave me be who I am, a girl of pain who might also have inner demons!!!
If I'm okay with it so why can't the be okay with it too? To me it's all just tons load of bull shit, that I want to care about anymore!
They say I should fall in love with someone who can help me in my 'mental state of mind', I don't want to, so why do they keep forcing me?! I need them to leave me be, I really do need and want that from them! Maybe if I don't exist in this world anymore they would leave me alone. I should cross over to land of sorrows 'Dekupa' I can remember the days when my grandmother told about that place before she went there her self, so maybe hi should do the same.
**** *************** TO BE CONTINUED*****************
(A/N): IM JUST WIRTTING RANDOM BUSHIT AT THE MONENT,, BECAUSE IM BORED AS FUCK!!!
