Do you really know them? (One Direction fanfic)

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Frankie’s POV

I heard my alarm sound as I groaned.  Monday mornings where the worst even without school.  I grabbed some clothes and glanced in the mirror

Fat

Ugly

Slut

I swallowed back a lump in my throat and walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on, waiting for it to get warm.  As I got in, I noticed my razor still lying on the floor from yesterday’s relief.  I picked it up, staring at it; this little blade has complete control over me, there’s nothing I can do about it.

Cut

You’re useless

Just die

With that I brought the blade to my wrist and drew it across, gasping slightly at the pain but also in relief, reminding myself that I was still human.  I could still feel pain.  I think that’s one of the worst parts with depression and self harm, you just feel numb all the time.  Sure, you can have moments when you think you’re happy and on top of the world, but the next moment everything will come crashing down.  Cutting myself reminds me that I can feel pain, and I have control over something, I guess that’s why it becomes so addicting.

I blinked myself out of the daydream I had fallen into and quickly washed my hair and my body, looking down I could see my ribs.  I smiled, I hadn’t eaten this weekend and it was finally starting to show.  I rinsed myself off glancing to check the cuts on my arms had stopped bleeding, which they had just about.  I stepped out and grabbed my towel shivering from the temperature change between the hot shower and cold apartment.  I changed quickly and walked back into my bedroom to put some makeup on.  I glanced at the clock.  7:58.  Shit.  My hospital appointment was at 8:15.  II grabbed my phone and ran out of the flat, running the whole way to the hospital.  I looked at my phone 8:09, I smiled as I caught my breath and walked into the familiar white waiting room, tapping my foot nervously.  I remembered the last time I was here, and who I met, and I vaguely smiled at the memory.

“Frankie?” I snapped my head up, I’d obviously zoned out to find myself staring into two pairs of eyes, both tired and haunted, one brown and the other a piercing green.  Again? Really? 

“Zayn, Harry” I said noticing how emotionless my voice was, the feeling of numbness washed over my body.  I noticed Harry sit back down the other side of the room, still ignoring me and I rolled my eyes.  It wouldn’t cost the world to be civil.

“Look, uh, y-your sleeve, yeah” Zayn muttered out sitting next to me and I glanced down to see blood slowly easing through the thin fabric.  Crap.  The next thing I knew Harry had thrown his hoody across the room to me.

“Well do you want to hide it or not?” He said accusingly and I shot him a smile.