AvNeil SS: Us Against the World

CHAPTER 15

If despair could be measured by the moments, then I was drowning in a tide, that had me trapped in a time warp.

My tears had dried but I knew the fresh wound that threatened my life, my entire existence was far from drying or dying.

The wound, which was a consequence of my own action, the one which landed Avni in the same place, I dreaded to ever see her in.

Each second that passed panged my heart as I fervently prayed and hoped that the doctors would give me something good, something better. Anything that was enough to restore my sanity, which I was conspicuously losing frame by frame, minute by minute..

My heart skipped a beat as the horrific sight of an unconscious Avni from hours ago flashed before my eyes yet again, enveloping me in a blanket of guilt, which was hard to evade.

The atmosphere felt palpable, but what was more heart-wrenching was the fact that I knew she was in the ward, unconscious, doctors running too many tests on her after they told me she was in trauma, and here I was, afraid to even face her, for I knew as a matter of fact that today, perhaps I had almost killed her....''You know, every time, every f***ing time that I have spent with Avni, I have always taunted her about one trait of hers that has pissed me off, time and again! And that's her impulsiveness, and look? Look what I did today! I couldn't practice what I preached! In my impulsiveness, I have almost lost my Avni!''

His words were received by an equally distressed Neela, who held his hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze, knowing very well that her son-in-law, who was more like a son to her, wasn't at fault here. But then he needed to pour his heart out. Because the more he kept things bottled up, the more they were going to hurt him.

''Neela Maa. I failed. I failed Avni!''

''No, Neil! Don't you dare say that! If there's anyone who has never failed Avni, that's you!''

She tried to tell him, but Neil was stringent about his stance on what according to him was a mistake of his, for which his Avni had to face dire consequences.

''No, Neela Maa. This is the truth! I failed her. When I was supposed to be patient with her and handle her with care, I let my guard down and ego win, as I weighed my hurt at her words with more vigor, and revealed the truth to her, when I shouldn't have!''

''This truth was something we all were keeping from her, only to let her heal first and know all of it when she was ready, but look what I did! I ruined it all with my own bare hands! Avni was right! I am worse than Ashish Mehta!''

''NO! Don't you dare compare yourself to Ashish, Neil! You will never be like Ashish! You can never be!''

This time Neela was stringent too, as she saw a broken Neil break down all the more, both of them sitting in the hospital lobby, as she hugged him, caressing his hair, praying incessantly in her own mind to make everything all right. She couldn't see her daughter and Neil like this, hurt, broken, distant.

''Nobody can ever love Avni, the way you have Neil. Have some faith in God, have some faith in love, in your love. Trust me. Our Avni would be back to us. She's not going anywhere.''