Remember Tonight

The ever looming 'so...'

I pulled up outside the house and quickly ran inside and down the stairs into my room in the basement. I flung open the door and flicked on the light and looked at my white accordion closet doors before striding over and shifting through all the different shirts inside. I settled on a white and black horizontal striped sweater that hangs off the shoulders and I didn’t have time to change pants so I just ran back upstairs and got back in the car speeding off to Loveland. I checked my phone while driving and saw I had a text from Micah asking where I was. I waited until I got to a red light and quickly responded ’30 away’  before speeding off again. The radio was humming quietly in the background while I drove playing an alternative/ indie rock station I really liked. The music was extremely happy and upbeat and I didn’t like the way it was the opposite of my mood so I plugged my phone in at the next light. I switched on a playlist with slow, relaxing music and sat back sinking into the leather. The roads weren’t very busy making the stoplights shorter but meaning I would get there faster. I pulled up outside of the hospital and jogged inside finding the front desk and asking for Patricia Pyles’ room. She directed me to room 245 and I thanked her before taking the elevator and checking my phone on the way up. I had another text from Micah and it was telling me to hurry up, but I was just about on time. I hurried to the room and knocked harder than normal just in case they were talking and they didn’t hear me, and entered afterwards. Everybody looked at me with tears in their eyes as I came inside; Diana was holding Grandmother’s hand with Micah cradled under her arm. Grandfather was sitting on the chair next to bed with her other hand and Mike was over by Grandfather. There was a doctor standing by the foot of the bed that automatically had my heart fall into my stomach and I stopped breathing.

“What is it?” I managed to croak out before Diana looked me in the eyes and shook her head.

“The dark matter we saw on the PET scan has been determined to be a tumor, it has spread and she has a 33% chance of survival. I am deeply sorry.” I was instantly pissed off by his condolences but I bit my tongue. His salt and pepper hair and bagged eyes made me not want to yell at him so I decided to nod and walk over to Diana. She instantly took me into her arms and I felt tears well up but I needed to be strong for Grandmother. I pulled back and grabbed her hand stroking her knuckles that were so prominent.

“How are you?” I asked in a small voice.

“I’ve been better.” She answered with a smile and I felt myself smiling back.

“I would hope so.” I remarked in a playful manner before letting the smile drop and get back to reality. “I’m really sorry I’m late. I was held up.” I briefly stated before standing up again and going to hug Micah.

“Don’t worry about it.” She was still smiling. If it were me I would be screaming and kicking not going down without a fight. She was older though, she was 80 and still kickin’ and I couldn’t understand. Micah was currently crying into my shoulder and I was barely focused. Ryder was sitting in a hospital alone right now and I couldn’t wait to get back to him. I checked my phone with the arm wasn’t looped around her shoulder and saw that it was 5:02 a good time to leave. I didn’t want to leave all of my family but I had to get back to my boy.

“I need to get back; I have a few things to do.” I didn’t want to get a lecture but it seemed like Diana had other ideas.

“Get back where?” She spoke with a hint of annoyance and I couldn’t look her in the eyes.

“The hospital, something came up with an ex.” I didn’t want to talk about this in front of Micah’s grandparents and these people who are my family now.

“We’ll talk later.” She gave me a prompt nod and I scurried away.

Finding the elevator was harder this time with the excitement and adrenaline coursing through my veins. I stepped inside and pushed the button repeatedly before the door closed and I bounced on the balls of my feet urging the elevator to go faster when the doors opened I all but sprinted out to my car and rushed inside. I checked my phone again out of anxiety and saw that it was 5:10. I was trying to focus on driving but I ended up zoning out, all of my thoughts drifting off to Ryder.