No Armor Against Fate (a Dragon Age fanfiction)

Boot in the Backside

After a full day he was still unable to go back into her room. He wanted to. Maker, how he wanted to. Wanted to hold her, to press his hand to her belly and feel their child growing within her. But the anger and hurt formed a wall that he smacked into every time he started to go back to her.

Alistair stood on the parapet of the keep at sunset, looking out over the city. He could have been happy here, as the Grey Warden he'd been meant to be, if she'd let him. But no, she had to make him King of Ferelden. He liked being able to make changes—giving the Dalish part of the Brecilian Forest as a homeland, improving relations with Orzammar, trying to help his people rebuild after the Blight. Anora probably wouldn't have done as well at those things. The lives of the elves in the Alienage would certainly not have improved under Anora. Maybe making him king hadn't been a mistake, he thought unwillingly. But that still didn't change the fact that she'd slunk off without telling him about his own baby. Morrigan he could understand that kind of thing from, but Thora? Thora the honest and honorable?

He gave a great cry of pain and frustration, wishing for a sword, a shield, and a mass of darkspawn.

Behind him, he heard a wet rumbling sound, and he turned, startled, to see Oghren spit ... something ... over the parapet. "Tryin' to get that up all day," the dwarf said. "Now. What in the Trenches are you doing, boy?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You. Mopin' around up here, lettin' her sit down there alone."

"Is it any of your business?"

"I think so, yeah. 'Cause you two young people need a good solid metal boot in the backside, and I'm just the bugger to give it to ya."

Alistair shook his head. "You don't understand."

"I don't, huh? The woman I loved took our whole house and ran off after a big hunk of iron. Left me behind without so much as a note to say 'sod off'."

"She didn't lie to you, at least."

"Didn't care enough to bother, as it turns out." Oghren gave a short, barking laugh.

"That's an interesting way of looking at it."

"Look, if it makes you feel better, I thought she should've told you."

"You knew?" Alistair's eyes flashed. Had she told everyone but him?

"Not 'til we left Denerim. Couldn't help tellin' me then; I was gonna see it soon enough. And I told her she should tell you. But she thought she was doin' the right thing." Oghren shrugged, looking out over the parapet. "And you know what she's like when she thinks she's doin' right."

Alistair sighed. He did know.

"I'll agree, she was mighty high-handed, boy. But ya gotta understand, she's a soldier. Take orders; give orders. It's what she knows. Not to mention, much as she hates to admit it, she's a sodding princess. She's never had to ask anybody's opinion. Doesn't excuse what she did, but it does explain it."

Glancing down at the dwarf, Alistair could see what he was driving at, but the hurt bubbled up in him all over again. He clenched his jaw. What did it matter that she was a commander, and a princess? She was supposed to love him, and she hadn't given a thought to his feelings!

"There's nothin' you love as much as feelin' sorry for yourself, is there, whelp?" Oghren growled.

"Hey! That's ... an exaggeration," Alistair said indignantly.

"You been doin' it all across this country. While she's been totin' us all along on her back, makin' all the decisions we didn't want to have to make. Now you want to get mad at her for doin' it again?"

"It's not that simple."

"No, it's this simple." Oghren's eyes were clear and sober as he looked up at the younger man. "If you love her, you've got to find a way to forgive her."

Alistair looked at the dwarf, the words striking a chord deep within him. "Could you have forgiven Branka?"

"Branka was a bleedin' lunatic, but you bet I'd've forgiven her, if she'd felt half as much for me as that girl does for you."

"What about Felsi?"

"Felsi's a right witch and her tongue could flay a bronto, but I'd forgive her just about anything. 'Cause I know how she feels about me, no matter what she says."

"What if Thora does this again?"

"And what if she's learned her lesson? You gonna make both of ya miserable just in case someone gets their feelings hurt again? That's gonna happen, no matter what. It's how ya fix it that counts." Oghren glared up at Alistair. "Now, I'd like to pretend you have a choice here, but if you don't get your butt down there and make up with that girl, I'm gonna drop-kick you off this parapet like a sodding nug. Got it?"

"You know that would be regicide, right?" The dwarf gave a deep chuckle Alistair didn't entirely like. "On second thought, why don't I get right on that?"

"Good call, son."