Show Me How to Live Again

Chapter 1

I hate death.

I always did and I always will.

It takes away the people you love the most. It takes them away to Heaven but you can't see them again until you go up there.

It also changes those left behind.

I gently ran my hand over the brown casket lined with gold that held my dear grandmother. I gently tapped the top of the casket as if that would bring her back to life. It wouldn't. I knew that but somehow I still wanted her to open the top of the casket and yell, "Surprise!"

I sighed as I took one last look at the casket, then I turned around and walked back to my seat. I glanced up to see my cousin, Miley, sitting in the corner of the room, all by herself, staring out a window. She looked lost. Her eyes were glazed over and she had a blank expression on her face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my mom walking up to me.

"Lilly?"

"Yeah mom?" I asked while I continued to stare at my cousin and how lost she seemed,

"I know you and Miley haven't gotten along in a while but she needs a friend right now. She needs her cousin. I know you both just lost your grandmother but you need to be there for each other."

I slowly nodded my head. It was true. Miley and I were really close when we were young but then I'm not really sure what happened. We were best friends when we were really young, I'm talking when we were three and four. We always lived in the same neighborhood and went to school together. Our grandmother would take care of us while our parents were at work. We were still friends, just not as close.

I stood up and smoothed out my dress. I hated this dress. Actually I hated wearing dresses. I was much more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt. I only wore dresses because my granny loved me in dresses, especially this one. A dark shade of blue that she said went well with my eyes and a ribbon around the middle. I slowly walked over to Miley, occasionally glancing over at the casket still praying that my grandmother would come back to life. I knew she wouldn't but hey, miracles do happen. I sat down next to Miley. She didn't even glance away from the window. She sat there, completely still.

"Miley?"

She still didn't say anything. I sighed. Miley was usually smiling and laughing. She could talk anyone to death. This was definitely not the way Miley usually acted but this was not a normal situation. Our grandmother just passed away.

I slowly reached out my hand and took her hand. It felt so cold so I rubbed both of my hands over hers trying to warm it up. She still didn't show any signs of knowing I was there.

"Miley, I'm right here. Please talk to me."

She finally turned around to face me. Her eyes looked so empty. Those lively blue eyes that we all knew could only belong to Miley, weren't there anymore. No matter how deeply I tried to look, there was just nothing there. I didn't want to admit it at the time but I knew, this girl was falling apart.

"I can't cry," I heard her say, her soft voice breaking any kind of silence that there ever was between us.

"What? What do you mean you can't cry," I asked. She slowly shook her head and looked down at her lap.

"I can't cry. I think I'm in shock. She's gone Lilly, she's gone."

After she finished she completely fell into my arms. I wrapped my arms around her to comfort her as she sobbed on my shoulders.

I honestly wish that I had known what to say. All of our lives, our grandmother was always the one who knew the perfect thing to say but she was no longer here. I glanced over at Miley's mom as she stared blankly at a wall. It was her mother who had died. Her father had died a couple of years earlier so now she had lost both parents. Right now her aunt and uncle were comforting her. Miley's dad was also comforting her but it was kind of awkward since they were separated.