don't complicate it

one

It's hard to live in a world and lie, everyday I feel different, being gay isn't by choice. I've known ever since I was ten, I noticed I wasn't looking at girls - I was looking at guys. In primary school my friends would have crushes on the girls but I personally thought all of them weren't right for me. My friends would joke around, asking me why I don't have a girlfriend - I honestly didn't know the answer.

It scares me to death to tell anyone, I live in a foster home with my younger brother. The people we stay with - Donna and Paul - are very strict, we go to church every weekend and I sit there while they explain how a man is meant to be in love with a women. I almost feel like I'm breaking the rules, my younger brother Eli who is fourteen and forever has his eyes glued to his computer were his watching porn constantly.

I want to come out, take the weight of my shoulder but I don't want to be looked at differently - which I know I will be.

Reputation in school matters.

///

It's a Monday morning and another day of school, I was woken up by Donnas loud and annoying songs she sings of a morning.

I crawl out of bed and walk into the bathroom were I peel off my clothes and scrub my body clean, I throw on some black ripped jeans and a black stussy dress shirt, along with some vans.

"Kale, sweetie. Come downstairs and get some breakfast, I want to have breakfast as a family!" Donna tells from the kitchen, I silently groan whilst jogging downstairs to the kitchen.

Donna had prepared various different breakfast foods fof us to eat, Eli was sitting at the table with his phone in his hands and scooping some cereal in his mouth. I grabbed a slice of toast and begin chewing on it whilst walking to the front door, I grabbed my bag from the hook nearby the door.

"Want a ride, Eli?" I called out whilst adjusting the straps of my bag.

"Yeah, thanks." He said before getting up from his chair and jogging over to me where he put on his bag. We soon left greeting our foster carers on the way.

Once we got in my car we fastened our seat belts and I put the keys in the ignition.

"Hey, what do think about Donna and Paul?" Eli asked me, I shrugged my shoulders at his question and furrowed my brows.

"I don't know, I miss mum and dad though." I told him honestly, he nodded and rested his head against the window. "Don't fuck things up though, you gotta stop being a little shit or we'll be switching foster homes till we're 18."

"I mean I'll try, but can't promise anything." He said jokingly, I nudged him and chuckled.

As we pulled up at school we went our separate ways.
I went outside into the senior area to meet all my friends.

"Hey guys," I called out to the group that were sitting under the grandstand. They all greeted me as I sat down in the wet grass beside them all.

"So, Kale. I'm having a party this Friday!" Bianca said which jazz hands, I shook my head with a chuckle, "Am I invited?" I asked her.

"Of course you are," she told me with a grin, "Maybe you'll finally find the girl you destine to be with."

"Maybe," I told her awkwardly, she giggled and contained sipping her caramel latte she had bought earlier.

"Guys," Jeremiah began, "I heard there's this new guy, apparently his gay, I don't know that's just what Tristan told me." He told us, my eyes immediately widened and I began feeling hot.
I pulled myself together and spoke, "Tristan speaks a bunch of shit, that's kind of the only thing his good at. Apart from taking photos for the yearbook and posting them to his stupid blog." They all chuckled and nodded, "That's true, his a bit of a loser." Katherine giggled.

It was the four of us that hung out all the time, other people at school would occasionally tag along but us four stuck together like magnets. Tristan was kind of the guy we ripped on, although I sometimes felt bad for the guy yet his always taking photos of us and acting like a paparazzi, it's scary considering we have to watch everything we do.

The bell soon went for first period, "I'll see you guys later, yeah?" I spoke to the group as I got up from the muddy grass and walked towards the inside of the school.

They all said goodbye and we soon left our separate ways off to class.

I felt as a hand touched my shoulder, I quickly turned around to see Katherine.

"Hey," she spoke with a cheesy smile.

"Hey Kat," I said.

"We have class together, History right?" She asked, I nodded making her squeal in excitement.

"Did someone have a bit too much coffee or are you just excited to be with me?" I asked, she giggled and shook her head.

"I'm obviously excited to be with you! But yeah I did have a shit load of coffee, my mum says it bad for me considering I'm still growing but I don't care. It's so good." She said quickly, I nodded and chuckled but didn't necessarily pay attention to a word she had said.

We soon rounded the corner and made our way to our first class, it was already slightly packed. My eyes lit up when I saw the new guy, not only was he freakishly good looking - he was gay.

"Wanna sit with the new kid? Make him feel better?" I asked Katherine, she nodded.

I made my way to the seat next to him, Kat sat next to me.

Once I sat down I gave him a awkward wave, immediately regretting waving like a dork as soon as I did it.

"Hey?" He said with a small smile. God he was hot.