My Tangled Forevermore {One-shot}

My Tangled Forevemore

“Becoming friends with you is a choice. But falling in love with you is destiny.” – Anonymous

Paul and I is now a happy couple. We know that we are too young for this but we also know our limitations, we are just here for each other whenever we need someone to talk to and someone we can share our feelings.
I’m blessed I have someone like Paul, he is a very caring person, he always assure my safety, a loving man who will ask you every time if you’re okay, he always remind me that I should eat on time, he’s also a good singer and a dancer, and the most thing that I love about him, is that he is a religious person, he love going to Church and serving God. But, before we end up on this situation we have many struggles that we passed through together.

Way back when we were in grade 10, we’re not too closed to each other. Because that time he have a girlfriend which turns was my friend. I didn’t pay attention to them at first because I’m too busy with my crush that time.

After my crush knew my feelings towards him, he started chatted me and asked some random questions. Until one day, he confessed to me that he also had feelings for me and started courting me? I’m not really sure if I can call it courting because we don’t talk to each other personally and he’ll just give me a piece of cream-o and a mineral water.

In the middle of our getting-to-know-each-other stage, Paul came to my life and suddenly texted me about schoolwork, I replied to him and after that we became friends. If he has something to ask, he’ll just text me and asks about it. Because of that we became good friend and he started sharing his problems to me. I will never forget the time that he texted me about her mom, her mom died when he was three and his father is in abroad, he shared to me his bereavement in his parents, and I was there for him to listen and make him feel better.

Then my crush’s birthday came and that was the day where we became in a relationship. I remembered that I gave him a small jar with letters on it. That was the first time I did something like that. It went smoothly between the two of us. But unlike any other couples, we don’t always hold hands or always talk in front of our friends. Though we’re in a relationship, we act like not, we act like we’re just merely classmates. And then unfortunately, I woke up one day and realize that I and he was no longer boyfriend-girlfriend. We didn’t communicate a week, and when schooldays continues, we never talk to each other, we avoid each other’s gaze, we don’t want to cross path. I cried in front of my friends and he witnessed it, but to hurt me more, he didn't do anything.

Despite my complicated relationship with my 'crush'. Surprisingly and instantly, Paul and I became closed friend. He was there to listen when I am crying about my failed relationship. He was the one that talks to me when I really need someone to talk to. And that was the time when I saw Paul’s importance to me. He made me smile again. He made me laugh again. And I'm not the only one who were hurting that time also him, I saw his pain because of his girlfriend. They have problems and misunderstandings. I never get tired advising him to fight for their relationship. I push him to his girlfriend even though I know he’s tired and even though I love him more than a friend and fall for him.

Junior’s night is a night I will never ever forget. That night my boy best friend was my first dance. I am expecting Paul to dance me even it is impossible for him to dance me, because his girlfriend was on his side and she didn’t allow Paul to dance with anyone except her. I lose hope that night, and I just divert my attention to other things. Midnight came and his girlfriend was gone home and he grabbed that opportunity to dance me. The song was Forevermore. We’re dancing just like others. I can’t look to his eyes straight because there this feeling that something bad will happen. And when we finally go back to our seats, his girlfriend sent a message saying that she was disappointed. And it hits me because it was Paul who disobeyed her. My tears escape from my eyes in front of Paul, because it hurts me a lot knowing that his girlfriend is mad at him because of me.

After that incident, many things have changed, the coldness of Rica towards me, wherein I can’t blame her, her friend is in-love with his boyfriend. But the thing is, I never done something that will make them broke up. I even do favors for them. I always push Paul to her. I advise Paul to stay at her side. I advise Paul to give all his time to his girlfriend. I ask him all of that eventhough my heart is breaking inside.

My hardest decision was happened before our Junior High’s Moving-up Ceremony. The three of us confronted each other, where I saw them both crying and I let them to talk and say their resentment, and the bravest thing that I did that time was not to cry in front of them, because in the first place I was the third party, I was the excess. When they stop talking, I made my choice, I stand up and walk away, and when they finally won’t see me, I burst out into tears, I even sat on the ground because of the pain that I felt. After I cried, I said to myself that I will never get in their lives again and I will never want to be involved to them again.

The night of that same day, my concerned friend called me on phone and it is conference call to Paul, I’m listening in his words, I heard all of it. I heard the most painful thing that broke my heart. “Mas matimbang si Mia. Mahal ko siya, pero matagal na kami ni Rica, kaya si Rica yung pipiliin ko.” (Translation: "Mia was more precious to me, I love her. But my relationship with Rica was longer than the time I share with Mia. So I will still choose Rica.") These are the words that may forget by my brain but never by my heart.

Destiny is very playful. April 3, 2016. The day after our class outing. I was surprised that he texted me. At first, I didn’t pay attention to it. But when the night comes, I decided to reply. He said that they broke up. I didn’t believe him because I am tired of it, listening to him and hurting myself. Like hello! Am I just too dumb to talk to him again? Right after what he have done to me? And the answer is yes. I am foolishly in-love with him.

Life is a big game. If you don’t gamble on it, you’ll be left on a corner. I think I choose the right choice when I decided to talk to him AGAIN. And right now, I am satisfied on his side, love, and attention.

All I can say is “He was just a dream that I once knew, I never thought I would be right for him.”