So much better

He stood in front of the apartment door. He had been beating himself up the entire way home. He shouldn't have stayed out all night. Again.

He took a deep breath and put his key in the lock. The lock turned with minimal noise. He shut the door quietly behind him.

He knew she would be upset with him. Again. He knew it was justified though. He wasn't doing it on purpose to hurt her but that didn't stop him either. He didn't know why, no matter how many times she had asked.

He immediately noticed how quiet it was inside the apartment. He figured maybe she was still sleeping. There was always some noise if she was awake. Music, TV or a movie. Now there was just silence.

He thought this would be the perfect opportunity to surprise her with breakfast. It would surely lessen her anger. He vehemently hoped so anyway. He put his coat on the back of the couch and walked into the kitchen.

The bright yellow piece of paper stuck to the fridge instantly grabbed his attention. Puzzled he walked over pulling the paper free and read it. Dread slid over him like an ice-cold shower. Denial then took root and he muttered the word no over and over as he raced from the kitchen.

He ran to the bedroom. The bed was made.

He checked the bathroom. Her toothbrush was gone.

He opened the hall closet. Her suitcase was gone.

He collapsed on the couch and opened his hand. He took the bright yellow paper that he had crumpled in his fist during his search. He smoothed the paper out on the coffee table and read it again. The two sentences that would haunt him for months to come.

Last night I tried to imagine myself without you. The thing is, I could and I felt so much better.