Random Heck

One of the worst events in my life

Just so you guys understand why I was depressed this was one of the triggers. Around Springtime one of my teachers that I admired so much was going to give birth. I loved this teacher so much. She was able to put up with me when I had my first mental breakdown (I essentially just slump over and start praying for death and I just forget about everything else around me.) and helped me through it. She got me to finally care and actually feel emotions (I was pretty much just an emotionless kid back then) and got me to see the beauty of the world around me. She even helped me through some of my little random light depressions. (I still have those though)

Well when she was giving birth there was a complication and she passed away shortly afterwords. Her baby was fine though. That left her husband alone and without the woman that he loved. I never was actually able to meet her husband but I would say without a doubt that he is a good man.

At my school my teachers had fallen into complete sadness and yet when I looked around at my classmates during lunch and class none of them seemed to be sad except for my friends. I myself was just depressed. I wouldn't talk much except to try to cheer my friends up and try my best to cheer myself up. My friends eventually cheered up but I was still sad. Soon enough I donned a mask of happiness in order to seem like I was okay. Although deep inside I wasn't at all. And I probably never will be.

She was my teacher in the 6th grade.

I was in 8th grade the year that this happened.

I'm going to be a freshman next year.

Do the math and you'll understand why this helped my depression so much and why this event still hasn't faded much.