This is a manual on how to properly eat french fries. It was written in order to keep idiots who don't know how to eat french fries from consuming them in ways that will harm themselves or others.
Thank you for taking precious time out of your day to read this manual when instead you could be eating french fries. Correctly, of course.
Oh, and just so my readers are informed, I'm only writing this because George Joseph Ferenz IV told me to. Thank you Ferenz. This is dedicated to you. And Izzy.
