Arshi One Shots (OS)

OS Heart's musings

OS Heart's Musings

On the morning of that day while we were traveling, around 1 am or 2, he came and occupied the seat beside me.

Hiding the big smile that threatened to escape my lips, I turned towards him and saw him with his eyes closed, his hands covering them and a soft, gentle yet naughty smile playing on his face.

I can't help but smile at that while feeling butterflies in my stomach. He kept his promise and came to sit with me just as I have asked. He came for me.

I turned around and looked straight, asking him what's he doing. He was chewing a bubble gum, turned around, looked at me in the darkness of the bus and just smiled, nodding his head side to side.

That smile .... That smile took my breath away. His eyes and his smile, they both just takes me to a whole different world. Before I could come out of that trance, I felt him taking the bag from my lap.

All he said is he wants to lay on my lap and at that moment, that very moment, for the first time, I felt important, cherished, cared, loved and above all pure happy, something which I hadn't had in my life often. He kept his promise of sleeping on my lap just as I asked. The happiness I experienced at that moment can't be just explained with words.

As he placed his head on my lap, my hands immediately wrapped around him, one hand holding his body while the other buried in his hairs. I could feel his soft breathing, I could feel him on me. He was so near, so within my reach and my heart raced with each passing second, filling my soul with nothing but pure bliss.

At that very moment, all I wanted to do is to imprint that moment in my heart and soul. If I had power to freeze time, I would have. For someone who longed for care and attention through out her life, his care, his love brought the peace, the happiness I longed.

As he sat up from my lap, I immediately missed the feeling of him on me, a tinge of pain crossing my heart. He asked me to change seats and went back to his same position.

I again turned around and looked at him the same. I whispered him that I'm bored. He turned and looked at me through the darkness, the lights emitting from the windows of the moving bus. God, have I ever said that I love his eyes? The way his eyes looks at me, my eyes ... I've felt adored in life only when he looks at me.

He asked me what to do now. I wanted to say that I want to hug him very tight, bury myself into his arms. placing myself against him and listen to his heartbeat under my fingers but I stopped myself. Instead I just looked at him, pretending to have no clue.

He smiled and signaled me with his eyes. I followed it and found him extending his hand on the gap between us. For the first time in my entire life, I'm going to live my most memorable moment, holding his hands. You know holding hands is something very beautiful, very filled with love and care and I holding his hand would mean everything in the world to me.

I remember my father holding my hand, taking me along with him everywhere when I was young. That care and love ...That feeling can't be just defined and with holding his hand now, I felt the same. I've felt that undefined emotion at that moment, that's why it's my most memorable moment.

I looked around, making sure no one's watching and placed my left hand in his right ones, our fingers intertwined, my heart racing while he smiled at me.

We both, leaning on our seat and resting our face, facing each other, just looked at each other's eyes. A smile on his lips and my heart racing. I looked at him as if he's the most precious thing in my life at that moment and in real, he's indeed my secret treasure.

He squeezed our joined hands, told me that he want to say something to me. I just hmm-ed in response, already knowing what's he about to tell me.

With my heart racing and soul smiling I looked at him. And then he said love you and smiled to himself. I couldn't hide my smile as well, my heart going crazy. My heart, mind, eyes and soul, all were happy at that moment. An undefined happiness. An undefined love.

I called out his name and he looked at me with those same mesmerizing eyes. I repeated the same that I want to say something to him. He hmm-ed in response. I moved closer to him a bit and whispered Love you. He turned around smiling to himself and looked at me again and holding my hand tighter, a smile on his lips and a smile in my heart and soul...

We couldn't hold hands for longer because of light but I held his arm and placed myself against his shoulders. He was tall and strong and I could feel all that. I didn't sleep that night at all, fearing that these moments would leave me when the day comes. Instead I watched him sleep the rest of time.

When he woke up, I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. When he woke me up, saying we're about to reach, I just hold his arm tighter, saying I'm sleepy.

He just smiled and said we're about to reach. With every inch of strength I could gather within me, I moved away from him, looking at him and then sat with him.

And that's how I lived the most memorable day of my life, even though it's just for a limited period of time, that's what I would live with, that's what my soul would remember.

I know we were never meant to be. I know I have hurt him lot of times. I know I don't deserve him .... But this lost soul has loved him, a little too much.

They say feelings makes you weak and it did made me weak for a particular time but I'm stronger now and I would face this for him. I can overcome this for him. Distance can't change what I feel for him.

I'm sorry for what I said, my words, I really am. There's only one truth left in me and that is my love for him, my care for him, my respect for him and above all, the trust I have on him.

Remember when a writer falls in love with someone, the person can never die. I won't quit writing, I will write and with my writing, I will make him live through my words for the rest of my life.

Meeting you was my destiny which even my fate can't rewrite.

I love you.

I did, I do and a part of me would always do no matter where life takes us.

~ * ~

Nan ~