Kokuhaku: Part 1 of A Tanabata Story

Chapter 7

How did you tell a girl that you liked her well enough, but not in a romantic way, Jack wondered. It was hard enough to do in English, let alone in an inferential language like Japanese. Japanese hardly even had a word for love. When a boy made kokuhaku, or confessed his love to a girl, he'd use some variation of the word like. A couple might be happily married for fifty years and never say the word love to each other. In fact, when questioned by some of the more curious girls, one of his teachers had admitted that her fiancé had proposed to her by asking if she would always polish his shoes. The meaning of a message depended entirely on context. What was unsaid was often more important than what was said.

"You wanted to talk to me?" Jack asked.

Junko looked up at him, not with the nervous manner of a girl in love, but one of mild curiosity plus a hint of irritation. Jack wondered if she might want to talk to him about something school related. "Miko-chan and I have noticed you looking at us a lot."

I guess not, Jack thought. He swallowed. His mouth had gone dry. When she said nothing more he prompted her. "And?"

"Do you like her?"

Warning bells went off in Jack's head. He'd had girls play tease-the-gaijin before, trying to trick him into making a confession for their amusement. He'd heard of other girls called gaijin hunters who were more interested in the superficial novelty of dating an "outsider" than in a serious relationship. In the end, they would always break up to date or marry a Japanese. No girl he might be interested in would seriously date a gaijin. "Who wants to know?" he asked. "You or her?"

A strange look, the shadow of some well-suppressed emotion, flickered across Junko's face. "Both of us."

Jack was tempted to laugh it off with a non-confession. Of course, I like her. Every boy in school is drooling over her. But somehow, that sort of reply felt false. He had fallen quite firmly in infatuation with her since the school outing to the shrine. Jack took a deep breath. "Tell Miyamoto-san, that if she would like a favorable reply, she must come and ask me herself. Otherwise, she won't get one."

One of Junko's eyebrows lifted. His reply was sort of a conditional yes but was ambiguous enough he could deny it and save face if someone were playing games with him.

"Very well," she said with a crooked smile. "I'll tell her that." She left without a backward glance.

Jack walked back to the practice field shaking his head.

"Did you do it?" Takashi laughed. "Are you two going out now? Are you going to be a super lovey-dovey couple?"

"No."

"Well, did she confess?"

"No."

Daisuke asked. "So what was that all about?"

"Honestly, I have no idea."

One of the senpais approached. "Enough jabbering, kohais! Gather up this gear, take it back to the field-house and clean the club room!"

Jack felt unexpected relief as he rushed to comply.

七夕

The next day, at the end of school, a late first-year rushed into the classroom where the boys were changing and yanked off his school uniform. "Can't they give us a break?" The other boys grumbled and shook their head in agreement.

"I should have picked a different club," Jack told Takashi. "One that didn't meet after school every single day."

"At least it's only until the fall," Daiske said.

"We've got a game coming up."  Takashi hopped on one foot as he struggled to get his foot into the twisted leg of his pants. "If we win, the senpais might let up on us a bit."

Another first-year shoved his uniform into a gym bag. "We should be so lucky."

"It's not like we're going to see any game time anyway." Jack rose and followed the others out of the room.

"You might," Takashi back over his shoulder. "You're pretty good at stealing the ball from the forwards."

"If only I could make a goal," Jack said. "But we all know play time is not about actual skill."

The senpais dominated the entire practice session with uncharacteristic determination. Jack sat in the usual place on the sidelines with the other first-years who were chatting about video games and movies. As the time for clubs neared its end, one of his teammates came up and slapped Jack on the shoulder. "Someone wants to talk to you."

Jack looked over his shoulder. His heart convulsed against his chest. Miko stood waiting beside the field-house.

"Jack-kun? What's going on?" Takashi asked in a rising tone of fear.

Jack cleared his throat and in a strangled whisper said, "I have no idea." The world wobbled under his feet as he rose. Somehow he staggered toward Miko.