Trying

Not So Difficult After All

I'm not going to tell you my name. Or my age. Or my life story like every other story out there. You'll have to figure that out yourself. That may sound difficult, but it won't be. If you really think about the story as your reading it you should be able to figure it out pretty quick. Hopefully.

I've been up all night. Trying to figure out what to do with my life. I live a complicated life. And I know that most people say that exact same thing. That their life too is complicated. But there's a difference between theirs and mine, mine can't be fixed. Or maybe it can. And if there is a way to fix it then I don't think I'll ever find out how. But, if you just happen to figure out a way for me to fix it, then please, tell me.

Life is full of complication. Especially complicated people. The people that are the most complicated are the ones that don't listen. They won't change their ways when you tell them what they're doing is wrong.

And I know, some people are those that just want to be individual and different. And I get that. Because they at least Listen. They listen to what you have to say and take into consideration what you have to say.

But, there's people like my mother, she doesn't give one shit what you have to say about anything. She thinks that everything she does is perfectly fine. And you know, most of the time it is. But it's those moments where she just gets so, angry. And confused. She doesn't know the difference between right and wrong.

Sometimes I think it's because of all of the medications she's on. There's been more than one incident where that's been the case. She takes all of these medications because she feels she needs all of them to function. Truth is, at least in my opinion, she doesn't need them at all. And maybe she might need the occasional pill to help her "pain", but she doesn't need a whole bunch of pills everyday. My whole family knows what she's doing. She wants attention.

She wants all this attention because she thinks no one cares. She'll throw fits, she'll say things she'll regret later, and do things that she'll regret. Like blocking my step-dad's number on her phone and blocking him on everything else she could. Because she thinks he no longer gives her enough attention. She wants to people to suffer. She'll take her anger out on anyone she can.

She doesn't know how to live her life without hurt. She doesn't realize that she's the one making her life difficult. But truth is, life isn't so difficult after all.