Dim

Bella

Bella is a nice girl. She's the sort that sits in the back of the class in attempt to not draw any attention whatsoever, but it's the mysterious that just pulls people in like magnet to iron. Or was it iron to magnet? I always had trouble with the english slang. Her bright orange hair and bright coral red lips highlighted her like a candle flame in a dark room. Bella never said a word to anyone, and no one ever spoke to her.

However on occasion Bella would flash a bright smile, to reassure her friendliness and to remove all doubt of hostility. What was it about her smile that made anyone feel warm and appreciated in life, or to take the time to smile back? It definitely wasn't the fact that it was beautiful. Her teeth were arranged in order like grass. One pointed left, and another would point backwards. Some teeth her missing. Her lips were crooked, one side of her upper lip fell lower than the other, and the left point of her smile doesn't seem to want to work as hard as the right. But yet, no one seemed to be disturbed by the appearance of Bella's smile. Maybe it wasn't the smile that made people warm and want to give themselves a lung crushing hug.

Matt says his money is on the body language. He says that he loves how she would stand up straighter, as if in respect. Her head would tilt slightly to the left in the most adorable way. Her body language just screams, adoration! But of course, that's in the view of a man who breed with another plastic barbie doll every day that ends with the letter Y, with exceptions of sundays.

I say that it was all in the eyes. The eyes are a window to the soul. Some people walk around with a dim window. Either they have never seen a light before and have adjusted themselves to the dark with no need for a light, or is just too tired now to get up, to walk, and to change the lightbulb in themselves. I think the tired ones are the saddest, since they have tasted what it was like to smile with real joy, but then lost the ability to do so later on. I am a tired one.

Most of the others have a fresh light bulb inside. They only interact with other people with a light bulb inside because they can see inside without too much squinting and waiting. The dim lighted, though, we have troubles. We try our very best to turn the light on for others so they can see inside, so they can feel safe inside, just so that we will not be alone. However, some sort of hindrance will take place. Perhaps a speech impediment, stupidity, or anxiety. We won't be able to turn the lights on for the lighted.

The dim lighted does not rely solely on the lighted people, however. We can let the dim lighted in as well. But all we can do is understand what they talk of, and just pretend that we can see inside only by relying on what we see inside ourselves.

Bella struts around with her eyes on fire. Oh, and when she smiles, fireworks blow. Those eyes can cause a forest to burst itself into flames. It's so bright, that the light reaches our dimly lighted eyes. And just for a second, just for a split second, we see what it's like to have a light in our eyes, and that hope spreads when we smile back. Because once you flash a true smile, you won't be able to stop all day. Bella starts the ricochet effect around anyone. For just a split second, she causes us to just see what it's like to catch a light again. A split second is not long, but it's certainly long enough to take that dim lighted person through the rest of the week.

But the stupid thing, the sad and most brainless thing about Bella, are her eyes. But, how are her eyes sad? If you look up joy in the dictionary you will see her eyes looking back at you from the book! That's the thing. She has so much joy in her eyes and all she wants to do is share it. She'll share and she'll share. She'll share her life away in a heartbeat if someone would ask her sincerely enough for it. I've asked her so many times to stop sharing. You'll share your light away and you won't have any for yourself. She then replies, hm? It's just a smile. What would happen if she shared all her glints away? What would happen to her when the shine from her eyes flickered out one day? All the joy in the world is compressed into this small girl, ready to combust at any time of the day. Bella gives a bit of joy away with every beaming smile. She'll reach a point where she will have to wring the the last drop of joy from her soul to give to someone else with none. And by Jove, she will. She will wring and wring her soul until it lays flat like a damp towel. Bella will then gather all that and rip it apart for a wink of joy hiding itself in its flaps. All for someone she says, needs it more than I do.

Who will take care of her when the time comes? All she ever did was smile at the dim lighted people. She doesn't have any lighted people to take care of her then. No amount of sympathy in the world will be able to patch up the soul she tore herself.

"That's all I'm good for. I'm no good with mathematics, or speaking. I'm no good making words like the english professor. I'm no good with building or drawing. I cannot think fast and I cannot charm others with my appearance. But in you, miss. I see potential the size of the mountain standing upon a stitching needle." Bella cups my face in her hand and looks into my eyes. I look back and weep silently. "You're beautiful," Bella says softly. I blink once. Bella grins widely at me.

She's not stupid. She knows what she's been doing. The dim lighted have potential in them but it's too dark to tip it. She laughs, and the dim lighted can see. Bella hopes that one day, we understand why she gives us so many lights; she hopes that one day, we look up, at the ceiling, and tip the potential. To understand our capacities. To spread our wings, and to soar. Bella can spot the winged people, and wants us to see ourselves.

Bella is a winged person, but she doesn't see that. She's killing herself to gift us the ability to see, not bothering to look skywards herself. This girl has a heart of pure gold, and everyone wants a piece of it. I got up, walked, and turned on the light.

For Bella.