You don't know how much I hate myself
I can't sleep right at night knowing I can't even love myself
How can I ever show emotion if none resides within me
Does anyone know how this feels or am I just incapable of being normal
Deliverance from a higher power seems plausible
But how much longer do I have to wait
How much longer do I have to suffer to see the promised land
Life's either a desert or a dessert, right?
I'm probably better off as an island just to isolate this pain from the world
It's like I should go back home, back to the netherworld
Pain is one hell of an efficient fuel that can drive a soul forward
Even much stronger than greed, power, desire and hatred combined
It kills you slowly enough to gobble it up in its entirety
I love what it's done to me
How it's opened up my eyes and insight to the ugly truth
The one that's been cleverly hidden in plain sight by the universe
Happiness is a fragile, short lived and rigid mirage
Don't come save me when you see me suffer right in front of you
Never needed saving from the early beginning in fact I never needed this life from the very start
But we get to keep what we're dealt with by the universe
To be honest I'm not asking for a better life
I'm asking for tougher difficulties just to prove to you that I'm gonna see the end of it
My pain doesn't warrant any tears
My gut hatred for myself doesn't deserve any pity
What's a life with only one up and three downs every corner
I'd slit my soul to let go of the burden it has to carry but more keeps showing up at my door
I've managed to create even more room for the demons that seek my lost ways
