Camren One Shot

I'm Gay

Story Prompt:

Camila has been dating 'guy' after 'guy', but it never seems to work out. She's unaware that she's actually been dating the same 'guy' over and over; a shapeshifter who's fallen for her, and is certain they're going to get it right this time.

    "Dinah, I'm telling you there really is no Mr.Perfect for me. I've dated so many Mr.Wrongs that I'm pretty sure I'll just end up lonely with 20 dogs, not cats because I really despise cats. There really is no one out there for me, I guess all those love books about everyone having a soulmate aren't true." I rambled to Dinah over the phone. It was 10 PM on a Friday night and I just came back from another awful date. To say the least, he was most definitely not Mr.Perfect. Whenever I asked him a question concerning things he likes, like what's his favorite color, he would just respond with the same question and when I'd give him my answer he'd straight off the back say, and I quote, 'Wow that's so weird me too, it's like we're connected or something' and then he'd give me this dopey look that just screamed desperation.

    "Aw come on Mila, don't say that. You'll probably own 30 dogs," And this is why I always go to Ally for advice instead of Dinah, because I just know Dinah will joke about my problems first, then get down to business, unlike Ally where she will actually help me because, well, when it comes to her friends' problems, she always turns into mama Ally. "Okay all jokes aside, I think it's just because each guy you go on a date with either comes from that one bar called Labios and honey we both know, that bar is full of creeps. Or you'll find them from that one coffee shop you go to that's full of weird geeks. I think you just need to start looking in different areas."

    Dinah does have a point there. All the guys I go on dates with are ones I pick up at the local bar and cafe. "Okay, I guess you have a point there Dinah. Where do you suggest I go to then, and please don't suggest a club because you and I both know if I go to a club I'd be required to dance and I am not a good dancer." Everyone who has known me, knows I suck at dancing, and I'm not even exaggerating. I once broke a guys' nose doing something as simple as the sprinkler. If you have younger siblings you'd have probably watched 'Austin & Ally', I am a worse dancer than Ally Dawson.

    "Well you're just gonna have to avoid the dance floor then because that's exactly where we are going tomorrow night, so make sure your fine Cuban ass is at LIV's tomorrow night at 9PM sharp." This is why from now on I am going to Ally for advice, because she wouldn't have made me change my Saturday night plans of binge watching Harry Potter to go to a club that I have no interest in going to, just to find another guy to have a bad date with and have the fact that I won't be meeting my soulmate anytime soon be more accurate.

    "Whatever Dinah, I'm heading to bed now. And Dinah I don't always like your advice, right now for example, but I do appreciate you being here even if it is just to make my nonexistent love life more embarrassing. Love you." I may hate her advice but I'm glad I can at least count on her to be here to embarrass me more.

"Don't get all emotional on me now Mila, you know I will always be here to make fun of your awful dates. Love you Mila. See you tomorrow." God, Dinah is enervating. I get that my standards are quite low but who can blame me, with all the dates I've been on I would go out with anyone by now. I mean I still have some standards but those are basic ones such as good hygiene because no matter how many dates I go on I will never go on a date with someone who doesn't take showers nor brushes their teeth.

    "I hate you right now." I mentally scold myself for letting the one and only Dinah Jane take me out to a club.

    "You won't be hating me once you find your soulmate there." This is where Dinah is wrong, because I know for a fact I don't have a soulmate. She is out of her mind if she thinks I'll find 'my soulmate'. I have accepted my fate and now Dinah needs to as well.