maana ke hum yaar nahi....

Lag ja gale ki phir ye haseen raat ho naa ho....

As Rose went to his cabin, the finality of the whole situation set as a heavy weight on her chest. It was now or never... this was the last time that she saw her Slughorn, her BH, her Amit sir... 4 saal kab nikle pata hi nai chala... with a tornado of memories creating a havoc on her heart, she knocked on the door and asked his permission to come in... as he said yes, her mind tried burning that voice to memory coz probably that was being heard the last time. As she entered and saw his face, her eyes threatened to spill... controlling her tears, she asked him how was he... he gave her a quizzical look and asked her why she was there. The question and his expression broke her heart, for it was perfectly normal and composed. She tried reading his eyes, his body language, something, to know if he knew that this was the last time they were seeing each other and if at all he was affected by it, the way she was... she lowered her eyes and tried to stabilize her heartbeat, and fetched her slam book out of her bag, she kept it on her lap and smiled at him genuinely. She said she wants him to do something for her, she wants him to fill her slam book. He looked at her like she was some alien asking him to marry her; and amused he asked why. Explaining like she was, explaining it to a 4-year-old, and she was walking on landmines, she explained... that she was leaving the day after tomorrow and that before leaving she wanted all her favorite teachers to fill the slam book, as a token of remembrance. And she once again asked him if he will fill it...

But it looks like the jerk was finding it funny and wanted to torment her and not give in so easily. He told her that he didn't know that he was her favorite. Giving him an annoyed look, she asked him, 'great ab to pata chal gaya na....' 'Haan par main abhi busy hu, aur aisa bhi kya h mere bharne ka, tum baki sab se bharwa lo, main abhi nai bhar sakta, m busy' he said with a poker face. The nerve of this man!!! Controlling her anger, she calmed her voice and said in an even, patient tone that why he was being so difficult? She was leaving, and this is probably the last time they are seeing each other, after this, she will never disturb him again... so can't he just do this one small thing for her? She knows that he will not remember her after all this but she will remember them. And it will take just ½ an hour. Uske liye itna bhi kya sochna...

It was funny to see how she had to beg him.... Now that was how their relationship was. Some other time when they had ample of time on their hand Rose would have probably not bothered to hold on and just given up with a stream of choicest cuss words forming in her mind. But today she was helpless in front of her love for this idiot, she knew that if today she leaves without fulfilling her goal, her heart will never be at peace. This time she has given too much, to take anything back.

Becoming silent she looked at him with pleading eyes, asking him to for once understand her pain... also at this moment, she tried to absorb his appearance as much as she can for she knew, that even if she doesn't this incidence too, like others would have already been fixated on her memory and try as hard as she may, will continue to haunt her for a long time when she goes away. She tried to take him in, as much as possible, so that she can console her heart's burning later on with the memory.

Amit looked at her, probably he too wanted to understand what was going in her head... he could feel her discomfort and wondered what he should be doing next... finally, he decided to give in to her request, after all, what did he have, to lose.

As he forwarded his hand and asked for the slam, Rose felt a great surge of relief, at least in those torturous nights she will now have something to hold on to... she opened the page where he had to fill and gave it to him. And with hopeful eyes and tremulous smile, asked him to fill it in detail and properly.

She didn't know what to do next if she should leave and come back later or she could sit there as he fills it up. Not knowing what to do, she started fidgeting in her seat. The silence is awkward and killing her. She has such friendly relations with all the other faculties whose names are there in the slam book and how amazing her final farewell with all of them went; she sat with each at least an hour with inspiring and lovely parting words; but here this guy, whom she loves and craves the most, is acting so distant that she wanted to cry.

Finally not able to take it anymore, she gets up and excuses herself saying she has some last minute official work and that she will come after some time to collect the slam book back. He opens his mouth to say something, but before he could speak some other bullshit, she leaves from there, letting her tears freely fall now, that she held in for so long.

She dashes into the washroom and splashes water on her face, looking up she gulps in a huge amount of air, in a hope to release the constriction in her heart. 'Rose, sambhal apne aap ko... kya kar rai h? Ye toh hona hi tha naa ek din... koi baat nai sab theek ho jayega... ', Rose told herself, trying to compose herself a bit before heading out.

She indeed has some official work and goes and completes them. After some 2 hours, she calls him again to know if he is there and done with the slam book. He doesn't pick up the phone. She tries again, still no answer. She knows that mostly, he is doing this on purpose and hence she decides to leave him a message and go back. She could have gone to the cabin and checked in person but she decides against it. In the evening at around 4, she again calls him, this time he picks up the phone. She asks him where is he right now? And if she can come now? He says yes you may come by 5:00.

At 5 pm she goes to meet him. He gives her the slam book and she asks his permission if she can sit for a minute to take a look at it... he nods and she sits down. He has indeed filled it nicely and she looks up at him and beams a watery smile to him. Reading for a minute she genuinely thanks him, and gets up to go. While standing, Rose keeps the slam book back in her bag and brings out the small bookmark and chocolate she brought for him. The bookmark is handmade by her. She forwards the gift towards him and tells him, 'this is for you. It is a bookmark, hope you like it.' As she is about to turn and leave from there, she stops in between and asks, with innocent curiosity, 'ek baat poochu, kya aap ko kabhi 3rd year, as in last year, 5th sem mein koi birthday card mila tha? Aap ne uska kya kiya?' Slughorn just looked at her and said nothing, his expression just as unreadable as any other time. Rose, mustered all her courage and stood her ground, holding his gaze.

Suddenly he stood up and went towards the door, Rose followed with her eyes; Amit latched the door and turned to face her. There was a mixed expression of curiosity and apprehension on her face. Instead of saying anything he just took her elbow and pulled her closer for a hug. Rose offered no resistance and her hands also went around him in an instant. He squeezed hard and she reciprocated. He caressed her head and placed a kiss on top of her head. Rose, too snuggled more in his chest, in response. The tears which had been suppressed so long finally escaped...

At this moment, both realized the finality of it all... they knew, there was no coming back ever and this really was the end! God knows, how long they stood like that; silent tears flowing and feeling each other for the first and last time. After some time Rose looked up to find him looking deeply into her eyes. Without thinking anything, they just kissed each other. It was one final parting gift to both of them from the other; a moment sealed in their memories forever.... Finally, they parted and she left from there...

Once again Rose found herself in the washroom, splashing water on her face for now even in her mind she couldn't form the words to describe her agony and tears just flowed like a waterfall. After sometime when her breath evened out and she had composed herself a bit, she came back to the hostel. She walked carelessly back to the room and slept off on the bed; giving chance to her brain to process it all and accept the final goodbye.

The end!