Bound By Hate (Gale) {Book 1 of the "Bound" Series}

12: New Determination

~Levy~

As my eyes slowly opened and took in my strange surroundings, what happened the night before suddenly hit me. I was laying in Gajeel's bed, in Gajeel's arms. Completely naked. Careful not to wake him, I climbed out of the bed and put on my clothes.

Oh, God, what have I done? I thought to myself as I found my dress in the living room. I quickly put it on, though my entire body was uncharacteristically sore. I ran from the house without so much as a backward glance.

I went straight to my room in Fairy Hills and threw myself into the hot shower. I sat on the floor of the tub, letting the hot water wash over me. “What was I thinking?” I groaned, self-loathing wrapping more tightly around me with every passing second. “How could I do something so stupid?!” I had been so upset with Makarov that I hadn't been thinking clearly when I went to Gajeel seeking comfort. I had used him to forget about my own problems, and that wasn't fair.

“I need to apologize to him,” I sighed, knowing things would be really awkward between the two of us from now on. “That's if he ever speaks to me again.” I felt like one of those awful women who used men whenever they felt like it, never taking their feelings into consideration. “I just keep doing selfish things.”

Knowing I couldn't put it off forever, I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around myself. Trying not to look at myself in the mirror, I brushed my tangled curls and tied my bangs out of my face with a white headband.

I threw the towel on my bed when I reached my bedroom and went to my dresser. I put on a bra and underwear, then opened my closet. I wasn't really in the mood for my usual, cheerful, wardrobe, so I decided on a pair of black, knee-length shorts, and a white T-Shirt. After throwing on a pair of white sneakers, I left my dorm room.

I didn't go straight to Fairy Tail. I was secretly hoping to avoid Gajeel as much as possible. If I saw him, I would just remember what we had done, and then I would feel worse about myself. Sure, he hadn't denied me, but I was the one who showed up at his house in the middle of the night. I had never even been to his house before, but the bond led me straight to him. Damn. I'm pathetic.

“I'll go see Marley,” I sighed aloud. I needed to apologize to him for running out like I had after he had told me the truth about my parents.

“Hey, Sunshine,” Marley greeted me, “I was worried about ya after ya ran off last night.”

“Sorry about that,” I said, taking a seat in front of him at the bar. “I needed to talk to Makarov.”

“Did ya?”

“Not exactly,” I sighed. I had been doing a lot of that.

“Tell me about it.” He went to work cleaning glasses as I explained what I had done to Makarov.

“After that, I just ran off,” I grumbled, propping my chin on the palm of my hand as I leaned on the bar.

“Well, at least ya didn't do anything too stupid,” he chuckled. “Makarov will forgive ya.”

“Yeah.” I couldn't look at him. Thinking about what happened when I left Fairy Tail put me in a bad mood again. Honestly, sex with Gajeel had been fantastic. More than fantastic. But it was wrong.

Gajeel is a demon. Not to mention the fact that we barely even know each other. Hell, I'm supposed to still be mad at him for nearly killing me! There were so many things saying what I did with Gajeel was a big no-no, but that hadn't stopped me. I wasn't thinking about anything but myself.

To make matters worse, I had left before he woke up. So, not only did I use Gajeel selfishly, but I also skipped out on him the next morning! I groaned to myself, closing my eyes. I'm the worst kind of person.