The one thing that makes my shoulders and knees so weak is… his smile! I could never forget the first and last smile he flashed at me… It brought my heart to a staccato like it momentarily stopped.
For the many times that Dj (my classmate then and my Kumare now) and I would ride the tricycle together, that afternoon was the most annoying one… As always, I would be having the best conversations with Dj that time and as always I was animated… At the turn on the curve at Lanzones street was a boy who made that afternoon no less than exasperating. He imitated my movements and was teasing me… The nerve of him to do that!
Every afternoon after that, I would always see that boy on the curve of Lanzones street. He never fails to tease me from that moment on. So since I can’t stop him from doing so and I would not waste my time going down the tricycle to give him a good punch on the nose, I decided to turn away every time Dj and I would pass that curve.
Then one afternoon, Dj had to stay in school for a while so I had to go home by myself. As I was riding the tricycle, I forgot to turn away when I was about to go through the curve... And there stood "THAT BOY"!!! He was still facing away but I knew it was him that's why my heart was pounding so hard I could not breathe. As usual he has his hands tucked in his pockets... I was ready to for his teasing... But today he was different... As he turned and faced towards where I was… our eyes met and he flashed a small smile! Then I felt everything was in slow motion - the tricycle seemed to move so slow ... I couldn't help it... I felt my shoulders and knees were so weak… His smile was contagious. Then it happened… I caught myself smiling back at him and I felt flushed. Then a thought crossed my mind... He was cute after all... I think I have a crush on him...
WHAT?!!! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!!! I couldn't believe it... I couldn’t believe myself… Erasing off that thought, I gave my head a real good shake! How could I have a crush on my biggest nemesis! This is just insane!!! So I shut my eyes tightly and told myself... No, I don't have a crush on him! I WON’T HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM!!!
The following days were never the usual. He would be there and he would smile at me and for some unexplained reason, I'd smile back. The annoying boy was gone! And he was cute… Now, I really think I have a crush on him. I have to know something about him, anything! A name would be good, so I asked my cousin if she knew someone from that street who might have an idea who this boy was. I started describing how this boy looked liked and I told her where I saw him. And what do you know! She knew what his name was! No, not his name, but his nickname!
After a few days my cousin asked permission from my father if we could watch a basketball game from the nearby village - at PV 4. My father allowed us and so we went. It was almost 7:00 pm and we were standing near a light post watching the ballgame when my cousin left me for a while she said she'd be back quickly. After a while - a longer while - she was still not back so I got a bit worried but when I turned, she was walking towards me and behold "the boy" was with her!!! My heart almost dropped to the ground when I saw him with her... Then my cousin told him who I was... "Bhoyet, she's Noemi." My hard pounding heartbeat was racing with my breath! I thought I was going to faint... I was not wearing my best! Just a simple, shorts, t-shirt, sneakers, and my hair tied up in a pony tail! I had to compose myself... He must not notice that I was blushing red as crimson, I moved away from the light so he wouldn't notice.
Arnold : Hi! I'm Bhoyet
Noemi : (With all the courage that was left of me...) Bhoyet! Is that a name?
Arnold : Sorry! It's Arnold. Bhoyet is my nickname (offers his hand for a handshake)
Noemi : (refusing the handshake) Sorry I don't talk to strangers! (…eyes rolling)
It was in January when we first saw each other. Who would have thought that after a bad beginning, we'd end up sharing the most wonderful times together? I could never forget that small smile he first flashed at me.
Masakit daw talaga magbiro ang tadhana. That's what people say. True, because as I was writing the draft of this post, our love song was played over the radio. It brought my heart a staccato like it momentarily stopped. It’s almost the same feeling I that I get whenever I'd see him smiling at me. I even remember the night of his death… When I came home and opened the door he flashed that smile at me and invited me to dinner. I never thought it was going to be the last time I would see that smile. Had I known, I would have captured it in a photograph. Good thing my memory still serves me well! I could still remember his first and last smile as if were just today.
How I pray that I could once more see that smile but I can't...
He's gone and he's never coming back... FOREVER!
Will there ever be a time that I will not remember anymore?
I miss you so much, Babe... But as our song would say... Because I love you ... I have to let you go…
