After he had to leave I messaged him and met him in secret... I know you might think I'm crazy... why would I do that?! Why would I go back to the first person who hurt me?! I don't know anymore but back then I told myself I loved him. Some may call it Stockholm syndrome but I call it stupidity.
For the next 6 months I would talk him out of "suicide" for 3 nights straight getting no sleep, I would get video calls from him only to see him kissing another girl (who I found out he cheated on me with) and just got my hopes up and smashed them over and over again.
I would self harm and attempt suicide for 4 years after that... over and over and over again. Still to this day I find it hard to trust people... I find it hard to believe in love and fall into it.
