Unforgiven

"That's Not Mercy."

"I still think there's good in you, Anodien," Lairiel offered the day after. Still, her words were only met with laughter as the queen torched another tree. Lairiel winced but did not comment just yet. She was busy at the moment.

"Do you? Do you really?" Anodien left more scorched plants along the borderline with a halfway amused smile, though it wasn't with any kind of happiness.

Lairiel nodded rapidly and smiled, trying to convey hope. "I saw that fight, Anodien."

"It hardly counted as a fight, but I'm well aware."

"You let him live, Anodien!" insisted Lairiel, stepping ahead of the queen. "You let him go, you showed him mercy. That's good. That's how I know there's still a chance for redemption." Anodien let out a laugh that was almost too loud and stopped in her tracks.

"You call that mercy, Lairiel?" The Elleth was almost afraid to nod. "Imagine you spend every moment, every second of your life training to hunt down the person you watched slaughter your family. You finally think you're ready to go after them-- and they whip you like a dog." Anodien shut her eyes and leaned her head back. "How do you think that feels? He's going to spend the rest of his life knowing that he had his shot and couldn't beat me."

Anodien fixed her unearthly and borderline demonic eyes on the She-Elf, who found herself having to take a step back. "That's not mercy, Lairiel. That's the worst thing I could have done to him." Lairiel remained where she was, jaw agape while Anodien worked her way around her. "Come on. We still have several days' worth to mark for those worthless Elves."

...

Legolas' guilt still remained years after his mistake (to put it lightly), but being without Anodien got worse as the years went on. Life in Ithiliond was harsh, and he often found himself about to call her name in those split seconds before remembering he'd ruined it all, that it was gone.

The news from the Fae told him that Anodien had indeed been seen. It was not good news, however. From how he heard it, Anodien killed without thought. His concern was for her, of course, but at that point he figured she lived on her rage. She'd done it her entire life before him, and lived on it now because he'd taken away the only other thing she'd had to live for.

He swallowed his shame and returned to his artwork.

...

The most recent news coming from the Fae countries was alarming. Anodien had conquered the entirety of that side of the world, and her armies were encroaching on the Elven borders. Somehow, she'd managed to do all of this within the few weeks since his last scoutout. There was no way he'd have been able to know about this.

The humans were her slaves, the Fae her willing armies. The Dwarves created the armor, direwolves the mounts for her soldiers. There was absolutely no doubt in his mind what his old lover had her eye on next, and he wondered for a moment how it could have come to this. How could he have done it to her, created such anger in this woman he should have loved and cherished?

He now thoroughly believed and knew the world was damned because of him. This was all an attack to prove her anger... and Lairiel was undoubtedly there as her prisoner. She wouldn't remain there willingly through all these years. There was no way.

Legolas looked down at the countless pictures he'd etched of the woman he'd tossed aside strewn about on the floor and let himself fall, crying for everything he'd lost and was losing. Families, friends, and followers... it was all going and gone.