Remembering To Let Go

I Know She Loves Me

2003

I met a girl today

I know she loves me

I can see it written on her face

I know she loves me

But I do not feel the same

2004

That girl and I have classes together

I know she loves me so

I snuck a look at her sketchbook

She has some amazing work,

I told her so

But I didn't tell her I

saw those poems she wrote

They said that she loves me

But that I already know

2005

I kissed that girl today

I know she still loves me

I could taste it on her lips

I know she loves me

But I don't know if I feel the same

2006

We shared lunch today

She doesn't know I know

She loves me,

I can see it in her face

Why won't she go away?

I don't think I can feel the same

2007

I'm watching her date this guy

Shes trying to hide that she loves me

It made me jealous, I dont know why

To see her laughing at the fair tonight

For an instant I wanted to be him

Maybe it's better she stops loving me

I don't know how to feel the same

2008

I'm best friends with her neighbor

So I see her all the time

I know that she still loves me

Though I'm rude to her every day

I'm even dating her friend

Yet I can see that she still loves me

She's starting to get under my skin,

Is this what it's like to feel the same way?

2009

I finally did it, I hurt the girl today

I knew that she loved me

But I took everything away

I told her we couldnt be together

Then walked the other way

I know that she'll still love me

And what scares me is

I think I feel the same

2010

I saw the girl today

We haven't spoken in almost a year

But I know she still loves me anyway

I watched her from a distance

My girlfriend on my arm

But I know that girl still loves me

Even though she refused to look

I think I'm getting used to the idea

Of feeling the same

2011

I had the biggest shock tonight

I walked through the door to see her

Sitting, fidgeting on the couch

I could tell,

by the way her eyes sought me out

That she still loved me,

and it terrifies her

I thought I'd finally lost her

But she still loves me

And I believe I feel the same

6 months later

I hate myself

She still loves me

But I've crossed a final line

I really broke her heart this time

She forgave me over and over

So I know she still loves me

But it scares me too much,

feeling the same

2012

I really fucked everything up

I thought she still loved me

But she turned away

I know the pain she's gone through

Over all these years

now it tears me to pieces

Because I thought that she loved me

I know now that I feel the same

2013

Things with me aren't good

I can't stand her not loving me

Although I know she does

Everyone says she's moved on but,

The father of her child could be my twin,

that alone tells me so much.

now I can't help but think of

What might have been.

For all the good it does me

She never knew I loved her

How could she,

when all I did was hurt her,

to the very end.

Well after tonight she'll never have to feel that pain again

I know she'll always love me

She told me so the day she let go

But the only chance ill have to tell her is tomorrow

The next day

I watch the girl from a distance

And I knew she still loved me

From the way her hands shook

After my mother handed her a book

This entry won't be in there

But it doesn't matter,

I think I wrote all I had to say

I just wish I'd told her I loved her another way

Page after page,

I watch the tears slide down

Knowing that I've shattered her,

And I can't apologize this go round

Because Im trapped deep underground

Even so,I know she'll love me forever

And it's written in stone that I feel the same

9-2-13