"What's got you all grumpy?" wondered my friend Mel as she chomped around a mouthful of spicy Doritos. I flashed her a look over the cafeteria table.
"Grumpy? I'm not grumpy," I said, a bit grumpily if I do say so myself. I eyed the bag that she was currently stuffing her face with. "And since when did you like spicy Doritos?" Or anything spicy, for that matter. Despite the Hispanic blood running through her veins, the girl had a knack for straying away from all things hot.
Mel shrugged and she plopped another one into her mouth. "Josh introduced me to them the other day. I've grown obsessed."
Well, all things hot except her boyfriend.
Perching a brow, I drew my attention to the boy in speaking who sat beside her distractedly talking to our other friend, Rex. He was tall and fit, with a handsome face and a charming personality that could have any girls panties slick with arousal. Despite him being on the football team, he wasn't a total tool like most of his teammates. This didn't go unnoticed by the girls in our school who craved a hot boy with a sweet personality. Too bad my best friend caught his eye and has managed to maintain it for the last 6 months.
"Don't stray from the topic, missy," Mel suddenly said. I blinked back to find her sticking a flaming red chip in my direction. "What's crawled up your ass? You've been acting like an angry bull in heat for the last few days. Something's up."
"I'm pretty sure all bulls are male, hence they don't have this alleged 'heat.'" I smirked, and she glared.
"Semantics." Then she dropped her voice and leaned a bit forward towards me, attempting some semblance of privacy. It wasn't needed though. Everyone around us was too busy with their own lives to pay attention. "Tell me your issues, my child."
I nearly snorted. Mel could be such a mama hen sometimes. She always needed to know everything about her best friend, making sure I was properly tended to. It was quite comforting, to be honest. Especially considering the fact that my own mother was never around anymore. Ever since getting that promotion four months ago, she's been AWOL a lot.
I sighed after looking at the serious expression on her face. Planting my elbows on the table, I dipped my head into my hands, confessing what the real problem at hand was. "I've been feeling a bit...frustrated."
"Well yeah, I gathered that." I looked up at Mel, who spread her hands out in a 'continue on' gesture. "This is the part where you tell me the problem."
"You don't understand," I groaned. "I'm feeling a certain kind of frustration. The..." I glanced around, making sure Josh and Rex were still busy stroking each other's egos with whatever mess footballers talked about. Then, in a hushed voice, "The kind that makes me angry at the world because a certain male appendage hasn't latched itself inside a certain aching spot in weeks."
There. I said it.
Mel's reaction made me regret it instantly.
"You're bitchy because you haven't gotten dick?" she loudly stated, forcing my foot to involuntarily slam against her shin beneath the table.
"Mel!" I cried in exasperation, but it was too late. Because in the next instant, Josh's voice was heard.
"What about dick?" he inquired in the same moment Mel groaned a painful, "For fucks sake, Jez."
"Nothing, Josh." I quickly tried at diverting him, but he wasn't having any of it. When it came to Josh, his mind never got to fathom anything else when sex was mentioned.
"Jez is all sorts of confucked because she hasn't gotten a big one inside of her for a while."
Especially when his girlfriend was so eagerly ready to continue the conversation about it.
