Random feelings....

The Dark...

It's dark, cold, lonely....

The feeling of emptiness engulfs me....

I let it take over my body.....

Covering every bit of me like a giant blanket....

This isn't the first time this has happened....

I'm kind of used to it by now....

When I first had this feeling I was scared, tired and anxious....

I hadn't been sleeping well the past few nights so I was extremely tired....

My anxiety had been on an all time high....

And I was scared that this was the end....

The last thing I remember seeing was the titanium white ceiling of my room....

I had laid down in my bed for a few minutes because I was exhausted....

I had been prescribed sleeping pills but I don't remember ever actually taking them...

They made my dreams too vivid or real....

But something was different this time...

Everything became swirly and unbalanced....

Like when you spun around a bunch as a kid to get dizzy....

I didn't move, thinking it was just because I was tired....

I was about to close my eyes when I felt a sharp pain in my side....

I still didn't move....

The pain started to become sickening...

Stronger and stronger the pain grew until eventually....

Nothing....

My bright white ceiling started to fade away into black...

My limbs started to become weak....

My eyes became heavy...

Everything seemed to just relax....

Shutdown even....

And I done nothing to stop it....

Because for once...

I felt peaceful....

I began to feel rested....

More energized....

But sadly...

All good things must come to an end....

I am awoken by my alarm clock...

But I can not move....

I hear my mothers footsteps but again....

I can not move....

I hear her say something but I can't understand her....

I try to speak....

Nothing....

I attempt everything I possibly could....

But to no avail....

I just lay there....

I hear my door open and sobbing....

I look at my mother who is stood in the doorway...

Hands over her mouth....

Tears running down her checks....

I try to speak....

"Momma?"....

She doesn't respond....

"Momma!"....

Nothing...

she just cries....

It's like she can't hear me....

She reaches for the phone and the last thing I remember hearing.....

"H-Hi yes, T-this is Maria B-Baladosen.... I-I'd like to report a.... *breaks out into tears*....

I-I think my daughter is d-dead...."