In My Blood

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Help me

Lance looked at the floor. He had made a huge mistake. It cost them the mission.

"Lance. Seriously? What were you thinking? You could have gotten Keith killed!" Shiro raised his voice. He wasn't yelling, but Lance had a feeling he would be soon.

"Sorry I-"

"No excuses! You are a poor paladin Lance. I don't understand why you're on our team, honestly! You're so weak! And don't forget stupid. You're no help to the team! It's like you just can't manage to do anything right! Is it in your genes or something? I don't think I've ever met someone as useless as you!" Shiro yelled and caught his breath. "Blue chose wrong."

The team stared wide-eyed. Especially as Shiro whispered the last sentence.
Sure, Lance messed up but they all had before. Why was Shiro being so rude, and mean?

"Shiro, don't you think that was a little-" Allura was cut off.

"Shut up. He needs to know his place. All of you do!" He said calmly and walked out. He left the worried Paladins and the Alteans alone with Lance.

Everyone started to file out, ignoring Lance. He felt the glances full of pity as he stared at his shoes. They didn't want to trigger the poor boy. They all went alone to do their own things to think about confronting Shiro and Lance. What they had witnessed was so, not cool. Even Keith was mad at Shiro.

Once everyone left Lance alone, he calmly walked to his room. He was thankful no one was in the hallway. He entered his room and it locked when it shut. He fell to the floor, laying against the door.

It's like the walls are caving in

He started to hyperventilate, rigid tears fell down his face as he muffled his sobs with his hand.

'You are a poor paladin Lance.'

'You're so weak and overall stupid!'

'Your no help to the team!'

'Blue chose wrong.'

He cried more. He didn't let out many sounds. He wouldn't. He couldn't. If his team saw him right now they would kick him out. He knew that for sure.

It's not like they needed him. All he was was a placeholder. At least that's what he thought. He was just there until they found a good Paladin. One that could fight. Once that wasn't weak. One that didn't screw up. One that they could appreciate. The one they deserved. And that wasn't him.

Sometimes I feel like giving up

Lance contemplated. What should he do? Relieve his team of himself? A burden? He thought about that. Oh, how he would love to. He didn't want to bother them with any of his antics. Maybe if he was gone, they could find the real blue paladin sooner. Yeah. The universe would be safe. Earth and his family, would be safe.

He smiled at the thought of his team finally being happy. Pidge wouldn't be annoyed by him while doing work. Shiro would stop having to waste his precious breath on yelling. Hunk could worry about himself, his own anxiety, instead of Lance's. Keith could have peaceful days, and Allura would be free of the constant flirting. Coran wouldn't have to listen to his stories about his family. All would be well.

But I just can't

Wait.

Who would make sure Pidge got enough sleep?

Who would make sure Shiro let it all out by letting himself be the verbal punching bag?

Who would be Hunk's sue chef?

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