Falsettos - The Man Who Made Me Smile

Cleaning Up

When Marvin got back home with Jason and Mendel, he had to blink a few times and rub his eyes to make sure he was home. This wasn't home. He walked inside, his heart breaking into a million pieces and his eyes getting glassy.

Everyone stood by the door, looking at him. Marvin sighed heavily and broke down in the middle of the living room, covering his face with his hands. Trina immediately came up to him and rubbed his back as she embraced him.

"Where's Whizzer?" he asked out of nowhere. He knew he wasn't home, he just didn't want to believe that just yet. Marvin pushed her away and walked to their room and sat down on the bed, crying even more, seeing how the mattress no longer had any visible prints from his lover.

Marvin was upset and mad, but he also knew that it had to eventually be done. He had to move on without Whizzer, although he didn't know exactly how or where to even start. This was a first step, at least. Painful. Extremely painful, but a first step nonetheless. A huge step, not even a baby step. He laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

Trina and Cordelia didn't know about the stars in his ceiling. He cursed under his breath and curled up in a ball, his tears now running down sideways and colliding against the clean mattress, leaving temporary marks in it. He closed his eyes and tried to forget about the stars, but seeing it was impossible, he got up and walked back to the kitchen to get himself something to drink.

He stopped abruptly when he saw his family still standing there. "What are you doing here? There's nothing else to do. Fuck off" Marvin was mad, trying to adapt to this abrupt change. However, they all refused to leave. 

"Come on Marv, we can play a board game" Cordelia offered with a smile, everyone following her along. He couldn't say no, they were his family after all, right? He sniffled and nodded, sitting down on the couch with Cordelia, Charlotte and Jason. Whizzer's seat was left untouched that night. They would glance at it every now and then, feeling the empty, cold space inside their hearts. 

As the night moved on, their Monopoly game got more interesting, they all ate pizza and drank Coke. Marvin laughed at a joke Mendel did and turned to look at his lover's seat. "Did you hear that Whiz- I... fuck" he began crying again, letting Cordelia hug him tight. He cried against her chest for a moment before taking a deep breath and calming himself down. "Sorry"

The family stayed in silent for a moment, then resumed the game. This was hard for everybody, not only Marvin, although he was the most devastated of them all. They all let Jason win the game, and Marvin said it would be okay to have Jason stay for the weekend, so he did. Trina of course told Jason to call her if anything happened regarding Marvin, but she was confident that her ex-husband would do just fine with their kid.

They both put on their pajamas when everyone left, they even brushed and flossed their teeth together, having a nice father-son bonding time, which hadn't happened in months. "Can I sleep with you tonight, dad?" Jason asked, clutching onto the hem of Marvin's shirt. His father couldn't say no to him, so they both cuddled up in bed together and turned off the lights.

The stars on the ceiling were there again, this time perfectly, visibly present, right in front of his eyes. Marvin took a deep breath and held on to it for a few seconds, holding his tears back. The warmth of his child against his body was somewhat comforting, so he held on to that to keep him away from all the sadness he had been feeling for the past months.