The Broken Records, Of A Wall-Flower.

Mother

A letter, A love letter to my mother. 

The woman who carried me for nine months,  who fed me and clothed me. 

The woman who left me at the age of one,

The woman who craved for me, or was it for him?

The woman who I watched cry, 

The woman who i watched laugh,

The woman I resented as a teen, 

The women I loved again 

and now the woman I despise , mum. 

mother 

ma 

amma 

You we're my everything 

even though dad was useless, even though he spent his days with his friend,

 a translucent liquid with bitter taste ,

I was never bothered to much 

because I thought I had you

But oh how wrong I was,

mum.

You only cared for your self,

for him.

For the man who I saw constantly beat you,

the man who abused you physically and mentally. 

You never took my love into consideration, 

I was always your last priority. 

And now that  I realise, 

it hurts, it tears into me.

Mum, it hurts to think that my love for you was overlooked

it hurts to think that you never loved me. ............................

Who was I to you? 

a toy?

unwanted gift? 

give me a title, please,

a role in your life.

My feeling we're always disregarded by you, 

you just simply did not care. 

I appreciate that you work,

you my mother are the most hardworking person I know.

but where's the love? 

That's all I need, the love. 

You kept on telling me this is the last time. 'I hate him' 

but you keep on going back to him.

why am I not, as important to you as he is? 

please look toward me mum.  

I gave you chances, a dozen,

million,

trillion.

But now its too late. 

I want to to say Good-bye , I have no energy left.

My tears have stopped flowing, my heart has hardened this is the end. 

Good-bye mother, will you miss me? 

I guess not, I shall miss you. 

our relationship has expired,

withered,

 exhausted.

- A love letter to my mum.