My Childhood Stories

Princess and the Pea

This is not the classical princess and Pea story,

I wrote it for my english class and really liked how it turned out.

Its the same story told by a sarcastic, uninterested narrator , and it kind of makes the story funny to me  :)

Hope you like it :)

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If you really want to know the real story, you will need some background information first.

So a long while back, there was this prince, he was tall and I don't know how he got so tall, maybe he drank more milk that I could ever stomach.

Anyway, you see this prince wanted to marry a princess; a real princess, not some random girl claiming she was a princess.

I mean that happens you know those ladies that pretend they are, even being all high and mighty.

He searched I don't really know for how long, but he travelled all over the world to find one, but he couldn't find the 'right one'.

You'd think it would be easy but the problem was, they were all phonies.

Don't ask me how he knew to find the right one, but then again I am not a prince.

He couldn't find a real princess anywhere.

Finally he came home, sad and alone.

I don't know how he lasted this long I would've given up awhile ago.

Now this is where the story starts.

One night there was a big storm with thunder and lightning and rain pouring down hard.

I don’t really like this kinds of weather, it freaks me out.

And well there was a knock at the castle door, and the fatso king opened the door to see this girl who was soaking from her head to her toes.

I think she looked like a drowned rat.

She kept saying that she was a princess over and over.

Honestly i would have slammed the door on her face because she was annoying me.

The snobby queen did not believe the girl, I mean i wouldn't either.

The queen made this whole grand scheme to see if she was another phony or really a princess.

Personally I think she went a bit overboard, but hey what do I know, no one asks me anything.

She planned it secretly and said nothing to anyone, and when the servant made the bed for the ‘princess’ she asked them to to stack 20 mattresses on top of each other.

I mean come on that's ridiculous.

She sneakily slipped a small pea under the first mattress out of the twenty.

I don’t get how that makes a difference but what do i know about royalty.

That night the ‘princess’ climbed all the way up to the very top mattress and slept.

I am so scared of heights I don't even know how she climbed all the way up but how was she not suspicious.

If someone made me a bed that tall I would definitely think something was up.

The next morning when everyone was awake and having breakfast.

It was eggs and bacon, I love eggs and bacon.

The queen wearing this really secret grin asked the princess how she slept.

The princess stifled a yawn and said that she barely slept a wink because there was something under the mattress that kept her awake.

Now with the ridiculous number of mattresses there is no way I would feel a pea.

Honestly i think she is crazy.

How can you feel a bloody pea?

The queen looked up in surprise and the prince had a huge grin on his face.

They explained that only a princess or royal can feel a small pea in freaking twenty mattresses.

Personally I thought it was a bit weird but hey what do I know.

It did work.

And so because of that test the prince finally found his real princess.

The kicker is that the blasted pea was put in a museum, something about it being valuable and not getting stolen.

That is the end of my tale.

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Hope you liked it!

Please comment and vote :)

Bye

-Izzy