Niall's P.O.V
I was never this guy. I never wanted to be this guy. I am not this guy. It's an act, for my dad and for my brother. I have to be strong for them. I have to get their approval. I have to stay a part of my family. I started this act at my mother's funeral.
-----flashback-----
This is a pain I have never felt before. It's split between the pit of my stomach and clenching my heart. My only outlet is tears. I can see the boys, the band, Simon, Paul, Preston and other members of management and security out of the corner of my eye. I can see the stares of pity and sympathy from behind me. I reach out and cling on to the first thing my clammy hands can find because the pain is getting unbearable. I pull myself close into my fathers side. She's gone. I feel myself being shaken off my dad's arm. I look up in confusion to see my dad's scowling face staring down at my. "Niall, for once this isn't about you. Pull yourself together and man up" my so called 'father' hissed at me. I flinch back and see my dad's hand rise and rest on Greg's shoulder. Greg's expression stays the same - blank. All the pain is gone. All I feel is numb.
-----flashback over-----
That was the incident that stopped me showing my emotions. No matter how strong the feeling is inside of me I will keep up my 'whatever' attitude.
That was the day I shut off.
That was the day I got my first piercing.
That was the day I got my first tattoo.
That was the day I realised no-one really cares, as much as I thought they did, about me.
That was the day my act started.
YOU ARE READING
That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt (Niall Horan punk)
FanfictionIt was the day of my mothers funeral that I started my act. I am determined to keep it this way. No one can break down my walls. I'm not as 'fragile' as everyone presumes. Give me some credit, I'm quite good at acting.
