The air was hard to breath as my music blasted through my room, loud enough to where no one can hear me cry out. I was terrified. Why? Because of myself, because I don't know how to stop the blood from flowing out of my wrists, how to stop these thoughts flowing through my mind with every cut I make in my imperfect body. I eventually pass out from blood loss but before I could completely pass out I hear someone calling my name and apologizing. I recognize the voice to be my boyfriend, he is the reason why I did this, I had caught him cheating the night before this and it destroyed me. I know what your thinking "That's so childish. It's just a guy." But to me he wasn't just a guy... He was everything I had. My dad had left me and my mom when I was born, which made my mom hate me she blamed me for my father leaving, she abused me almost every day especially when she was drunk. After trying to kill me, she committed suicide the next day. I was only 13 so I went to a foster home, which was where I met him. He was the only one who talked to me. We were friends for seven years, but one day he asked me to be his girlfriend so we were together for five years.
I woke up a couple days later in a hospital bed. I looked down to see my boyfriend holding my hand, asleep with his head on the bed I was lying in. I immediately pulled my hand away which woke him in the process. He tried to hug me but I pushed him away. He kept trying to apologize saying it was an accident, so I said the only thing I could think to say "get out" but it wasn't loud enough "what did you say?" "Get out." " Why I apologi- " I cut him off by yelling with everything I had, anger, sadness, pain, unbelievable pain. " GET OUT!!" He didn't say anything he just walked out of the room with no objection. As soon as the door was closed, I broke, I shattered, I cried, I screamed. Well I tried to scream but no sound came out, I tried to cry but I had no tears, I felt completely numb, no pain, no sadness, no anger, nothing.
