Choosing Humanity: Attack On Titans

Chapter 3

She was hollow and empty inside. Butch had done everything he could and she appreciated him for that, but she didn’t feel anything. She was simply numb.

She was tired of everything and had no energy left. The very thought of her father had her heart aching with grief.

Her loving father …was gone.

Butch had offered to give her a tour of the house but she didn’t feel like doing anything so she just sat there, under a tree.

The papers that her father died to destroy were in the tunnel but no matter how much she thought of it, she couldn’t bring herself to destroy them like they should have been. They were the last reminders of her father. She didn’t have anything else to remember him with. Without those papers, she felt as if he would be truly gone, and she couldn’t bear that thought. She despised herself for it, for being a coward.

Butch was silently watching her with sad eyes from a far thinking that Ava wouldn’t be able to spot him but she noticed him right away. She called him over and offered up the space beside her which he took.

“Do you think daddy died for nothing? A meaningless death?” she asked her voice barely above a whisper.

This was of course something that a five year old would never ask but Butch had grown accustomed to it and thought for a while before answering.

“Your father loved you very much Miss. He knew of the amazing ideas that you carried around in your head and that one day, the ideas would help all the humans to prosper. He didn’t want your beautiful mind to be controlled and manipulated by anyone. He wanted you to be yourself and above all, he wished for you to have a happy life. He died to keep you safe and you are. His death was anything but meaningless.”

That’s right, she thought with renewed hope. Her father had given her a list of things to do. She couldn’t just slop around all day. Wherever he was, she would make him proud.

With a smile, she hugged her Uncle Butch and ran back inside to make a list of things that she had to do. Her father definitely wouldn’t want her to waste her time to mop around.

She read her father’s letter again. She had to keep her identity a secret, help people and explore new things.

“Uncle Butch?” she called out

“Yes Miss?”

“Where is the study?”

He seemed delighted with this question and for the first time, his smile reached his eyes again.

After lunch, they both wandered around aimlessly and Ava noticed that there were so many things she had yet to learn. Although the thought of her father always occupied her mind, she was determined to learn new things and make him proud.

“How many people know about me, Uncle?”

“Well, why do you ask?”

“Daddy told me to keep my identity a secret so I was thinking out loud. That’s all”.

“Let’s see, since you haven’t been out at all, nobody outside knows about you. Some people know of a child that professor had, but that’s about it. They don’t know anything else, not even your gender.”

“But my name will still be recognized. Am I right?”

“You were named after your mother, Ava. And your last name is quite well-known”

“Ava Sherman”.

“My mother? You knew her? How was she like? Daddy never told me anything about her.”

“She was beautiful and a very kind person.”

“And where is she now?”

“She passed away while giving birth to you. Professor was devastated by her death. Shortly afterward, he went into hiding.”

Strangely, she didn’t feel sad to hear this little piece of news. She was quite relieved. Ava often wondered why her mother hadn’t come to visit her. At least she now knew that her mother hadn’t stayed away from her because she didn’t want anything to do with her.  

“Well then how about just AS? If I introduce myself as AS, nobody will know, right?

“Yes, but it does seem a little odd and people will definitely ask for what they stand for.”

After a long wait, she finally came up with a name that she really liked. “Then it will be Asa Smitt.”

“Asa Smitt?”

“Yes, and people will call me AS for short. How does that sound?” she asked, expectantly.

“Beautiful, Miss”

“No Miss, Uncle. I told you to stop calling me that. Call me AS.”

“How about Ava?”

“No, call me Asa then. You might forget and call me Ava in front of others. Asa, like a nickname or something.”

“Alright, but you will still be Ava to me.”

“And I’ll still be Ava for me, you, and daddy, too.”