"I FUC*ING LOVE YOU SIERRA!"
That makes us both quiet. The only sound is our heavy breathing.
"Well Nash I'm not going to stop cutting because I don't deserve you and I don't deserve you. I'm a worthless bit*h who should go die."
Tears streamed down Nash's face. He sobs and says "Sierra please don't think like that. I swear I love you and I won't leave you!"
I sigh and say "Nash I have to go home." He sighs and says "Call me when you get there." I nod and leave.
I walk home and open the door. Then I trudge up the stairs.
Knowing what I'm about to do.
But I don't care.
Nash was lying.
He doesn't love me.
I open my bathroom door and walk in. The razor gleams in the light and I say "Hello old friend. Let's have a talk."
I grab my best friend and worst enemy.
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Nine
Then my phone rings. Interrupting my tenth cut. I answer it and say "What?"
Nash:Hey Sierra. Can I come over just to hang?
Me: Um sorry I don't know.
Nash:K well I'll take that as a yes. Im on my way.
Me:Nash wa-
He hangs up. Oh sh*t. I have to find a way to cover this. I grab some concealer and get to work.
It hurts so bad to put stuff in my cuts but I can't let him know. I feel hands wrap around my waist. It's Nash. He sees my cuts.
He grabs my arms and kisses each one. I cry and he starts and says "Kiss it all better Sierra." I gasp and pull up his sleeves.
His wrists are covered in fresh bloody cuts. I say "Nash when and why did you do this."
He puts his head in his hands and says "When you left. I did it because I know you don't love me and you deserve better."
"Nash I love you it's just too hard to admit and too hard to get attached."
"Why?"
"My dad left as a kid. Beat me and my mom. Told me I was worthless. Told me I'm just a young wh*re. Told me I'm a bit*h. Told me he wishes I wasn't born. Told me I should commit suicide. Told me no one would care."
"He told me all this since I was eight. I started cutting at ten. The sad thing was I knew how to hide the bruises. I was diagnosed with bulimia at eleven."
"I would throw up every fuc*ing day. Every. Fuc*ing. Day. Dad didn't care the one day he left."
"I never saw him again."
"But I didn't regret it."
I'm sobbing now and Nash sobs with me. "It hurts Nash." I say and he says "I know Sierra, I know honey."
He leads me to my room. We fall asleep on each other.
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"WHAT THE H*LL SIERRA?"
I gasp and wake up. Nash jumps up. My mom is standing there red faced.
"Fu*k."
"Mom it's not what it looks like!" I scream.
"WELL THEN WHAT THE FU*K IS IT SIERRA??!! WANNA KNOW WHAT I THINK? IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAD SEX WITH THIS BOY LAST NIGHT!"
"WELL MOM IT'S NOT THAT AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL THE WHOLE FU*KING WORLD!"
"SIERRA ROSE YOU WILL NOT CUSS AROUND ME!" She yells.
"YES I CAN DO WHAT I FU*KING WANT! OH NO I SAID FU*K! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!"
She steps threateningly towards me. I sigh and just push past her to the bathroom. Nash says "Ma'am Sierra and I didn't do anything. She and I are best friends."
Mom sighs and leaves.
I cut again.
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"Stop please!" Nash says "For me?" I set my razor down. I open the door. I push past him. I change into a sports bra and shorts.
Running takes my mind off things. I grab my phone and headphones and start downstairs and outside.
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I ran so hard I threw up. Threw up what wasn't in my stomach. I haven't eaten for three days.
Nash has ran with me. He is patting my back while I throw up in a bush. Wow great job Sierra....
YOU ARE READING
Smell The Roses (A Nash Grier Fanfic)
FanfictionSierra has found someone she can love finally. But what will happen? Can she live Happily Ever After? No,she can't. She races through things. She doesn't enjoy life. But someone comes and tells her to stop and smell the roses.
