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It was three thirty when Seokjin's phone started to buzz after the second try of Jungkook to type the correct number with his shaking fingers and the cold sweat that ran down his temples

,,Use alcohol on your cuts, so they heal quicklier."

Seokjin mumbled, half asleep but already used to Jungkook late night calls - what was a sleep schedule anyway?

He was hit by silence, only Jungkook's heavy breathing like he was hyperventilating and the way his breath stucked any now and then, made Seokjin sit up in his bed so he could comprehend anything Jungkook was about to say next.

,,Is it bleeding that bad already?"

He asked with a worried tone.

,,Remember how you always told me to inhale and exhale when I was younger?"

Jungkook asked in a slightly hysteric tone most of it stuttered and it send shivers down Seokjin's spine, he tripped out of his bed and only the thin fabric of clothes, his soft pajamas were covering his body. He shoot up and murmured rather to himself but still audioable to Jungkook: ,,Oh no, this can't be good."

Jungkook was sobbing, Seokjin could literally see him bite his lip in agony.

,,Jungkook, hey buddy stay with me!"

,,He was in trouble again."

Was all he responded and Seokjin could hear silent tears roll down along his cheekbones but stopped, his breath hitched.

The boy on Jungkook's mind, of course he would call Seokjin when it was about him, who else could he tell about it if not his picture perfect homophobic parents.

,,Do I need to pick you up from your house?"

He asked as he slid back on his bed.

,,You need to hold my hand, the smell of hospitals makes me dizzy."

Seokjin sighed internally, like he was cursing the universe for keep pushing the younger boy into such situations and not him. Jungkook should've been happy with that family of his. This warm and loving, caring people that held him in their hands like a diamond, all of their eyes on him, because who else was there to keep like a trophy when you're an only child?

But Jungkook wasn't happy.

Happiness was meaningless if pain didn't exist.

It just didn't feel right if there wasn't something destroying him little by little, something that wasn't this overused blade of his. Physical pain was only as bad as your mind made you feel it, but mental pain destroyed you in a way that it dragged you down and gave you physical pain as a topping.

It was the real pain.

Physical pain could exist without tears and the mind, you could scratch you knee and it wouldn't cause you depression. But if you got psycholigial pain you were doomed.

When somebody would break his heart Jungkook would feel his lungs stop working, his appetite fade and his mind commit suicide while his heart would break and that was what he desired, to finally feel what he had missed, to actually feel it.

Nevertheless, he  had never been truly happy, because something like real pain didn't exist to him but maybe it had just been introduced to him in that night, sorrow and a deep ache, as they say sadness comes out at night.

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