Its the start, of everything, the pain yet I didn't know at this point.
Its monday monday morning same shit different day. I went downstairs and thats when the anxiety kicked in and i said I couldn't go in yet my mum made me. I left and i felt like turning back but there was no going back, i felt so low, so suicidal and so depressed. I got into school listening to 'xxxtentacion sad' over and over again on a loop suddenly my friend jumped on my back this is when the fake smiles and fake laugh's kicked in. It was now 5th period the second from last, and it all kicked in the tears came running down my face i ran out my lesson i felt the mental pain kicking in, the voices, the man everything was there so i sat in a room by myself then he came over and i let everything out to him how i was feeling and all he said was keep strong and hugged me tightly, that hug made me feel the slightest bit better but he dosent understand its so hard to keep strong when your fighting it all alone in you head and it drains you. Mentally you cant cope
Nobody understands.
And nobody knows.
~R
