Her Eyes.

Chapter 4

Anna's POV

You could feel the awkward silence as we drove. I wasn't good with coversations so I did what I did most, kept quite. Noah took this as his chance to break the silence. Clearly

"You're not very fond of talking are you?" He asked and I nodded slowly."I firgured,do you like music?" He asked me again. Music was everything to me. I breathed music, it was my life.

"I love music, it's like everything to me." I said bringing a smile to my face. But it was gone too soon because it reminded me of him. I keep on trying, I really do try but everything reminds me of him. I need to stop.

"Oh how interesting, favourite color?" He really likes asking me questions. I mean I'm not used to people asking me questions. Actaully I don't even know what I'm saying, I don't talk at all.

"Blue" I said 'cause it was one of the most peaceful of all colors. It was the color of the sky and the sea. And the color of my eyes.

"Like your eyes" He said nonchalantly.

"Like my eyes" I said absentmindedly, my mind far gone to think. These eyes that have seen to much, eyes that have flowed with never ending waters. Tears. Pain. Him.

"Well we're here, see you at school tomorrow." I heard him say. I got my bag and got out.

"Thank you" I finally mastered to say.

"Take care Anna" He said and drove off.

I entered the house which was quite as usual. Going upstairs to my room, I closed the door and laid on my bed. Today felt the same, just like any other day.

I like being alone. The silence speaks for me,for I live for it. In the silence are my demons, the darkness and pain. They have consumed me and swallowed me hard till there was nothing left. Here there's no light, no hope and no saving. Just me and them.

I'm breaking inside, drowning in the pain. My heart? It's just beating for the sake of it. My soul, it's dark and empty like a void. Sometimes I feel like I'm dead. I feel as if something or someone else is controlling me. 

But of course some of us are stubborn. Selfless. Why you ask, because I can't be saved but that doesn't mean I can't try and help others save themselves. Helping them would maybe one day give me hope to try and save myself.

Maybe there's hope, or maybe there isn't. People walk around with pain in thier hearts. Some a bit strong but some too weak. Too weak to fight, weak to hold on and weak to keep going. The strong and the weak can heal, for hope can be someone or even something.

We all have reasons for the things we do and the things we say. Some of us are good at hiding what we feel inside. We put up fronts so no one can see our true selfs. For we think it's good for us.

We live in a generation were everyone wants to be someone else. A world were everything material makes who you are. No one pays attention to the sad or broken anymore. Everyone wants to know about the popular kids and who did what.

Teenagers feed on gossip, other people's miserable lives and each other's assets. We bully others because it makes us feel more powerful. But what if the bully was also bullied once? What if he did what he did because he wanted others to feel what he felt and went through. And what if all he wanted was for the pain to go away.

We are all humans. The things we do make us human. Being able to speak your mind, share your thoughts and live your dreams makes us human.

My mind whirls around with these thoughts as I look up to the ceiling. I didn't register how long I was laying there but all I knew was that I was tearing apart.

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The next morning felt the same as I walked to school listening to Tears by Clean Bandit. Music made me calm, without it I wouldn't be sane.

As I was walking to the entrance door I felt the need to look back and saw Noah coming my way. I really don't understand why he talks to me, I'm not even interesting to talk to.

"Hey Anna" He said with a smile on his face.

"Hi" I said a little too awkward

"So I like need a really huge favour from you please say yes..." He said seemily nervous as he was scratching the back of his neck. I wonder what the favour is that's making him feel this way.

"What favour?" I asked

"I'm failing Science and need someone to tutor me cause If I don't pass my dad will have an axe to my throat." He said sounding a bit desprate. After registering his words my eyes widened.

"Your dad does that to you?mine is scared to even step on an ant." I said not believing that one's father would do such.

"What!No not litrally, who does that." He said and chuckled a little. It was nice to see that he was happy. He's hazel eyes shone brightly like he was tranquil. They reminded me of a pair I also used to stare into.

"Well what do you say?" He asked with hopeful eyes.

"Sure, why not." I said and what he did next had me frozen. Noah wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. He untangled his arms around me saying a quick thanks and going back to his friends.

As I walked into school, I couldn't stop thinking about what I felt as he hugged me. I couldn't bring my mind to what it was. It left me confused and dazed as the day went on.

Maybe just maybe I whispered to myself.