[w a r n i n g: long : )]
i haven't been updating in this book at all o o f
when people ask me "how im doing" i always just say fine or okay so they won't question more cause honestly, the entire month, actually, passed by really quick for me- and i myself don't know how im doing :^)
"don't keep all your problems stored inside, they will rot and slowly kill you" i saw on instagram
sad enough ive been doing that a lot, and i usually just let it slowly get forgotten until one depressed night they come back :^)
luckily i haven't had a depressed night yet cause of school and i have no time to be sad and stuff sooo it's g o o d
im so jealous of people who have friends to talk about their problems to or all that, i wish i had one but i'll probably never get one
cause i got used to not telling my problems at all and i always have the thought that no one really wants to hear my problems, and that they really don't want to help me or cheer me up, which i understand cause it's hard to deal with people with mental issues sometimes
i have a best friend don't get me wrong but i don't talk to her about my problems at all cause she doesn't know how to cheer me up, she only knows how to distract me from it, which is still better than nothing?
and when people dO cheer me up, i don't trust them at all,, like they're doing that to pretend to be nice or something,, gosh i have trust issues, sometimes i don't feel them being sincere at all and when i rant they just reply with a "oof" or "sad" or "rip" or even worse "me/mood/same"
idk h
sorry if these didn't make any sense i just write what i thought :^)
buuut as of now, im okay
i still have a lot of sad things and problems that happened this week stored inside of me-
but im okay
