Only a Real Love Story

Chapter 1: Coming Out of the Shadows

    As a thriving fat woman, I have always made everyone believe that I was a huge thriving gay man. But now, it was time to reveal the truth. In my childhood, I always had an image of a perfect relationship... but that image is completely irrelevant. Now, I imagine being with someone who would only love me for my Harry Potter dorkiness and also for my little fur babies. Wait, wait, wait, I have an announcement. If you are reading this right now, I am being sponsored by Dollar Wizard Club. It's a completely free website where you can create a wizard figurine of yourself or anything you desire... Oh wait, like mine, seee? Oh yeah, I'm writing a book... I'm not making a video, silly me. Now, anyways, as I was completely ranting and obsessing about whatever the fuck it was, it is important to remember I have been single for a very long time. As a fat woman who desires to be loved, there can only be one choice made right for me. This whole entire time I've made everyone believe I was gay, like more than gay, like the gayest of the gay. And to complete it, I acted like it too. But, this is going to come off as a shock to everyone, I am actually straight. I have been avoiding it because I'm scared of commitment and I can't stand the idea of having to date someone for a long time to actually be "romantic". I just want to get married straight away, literally like within two weeks. I mean, did you watch the video of me explaining what happened to me when I was dating the guy that Shane set me up with? Yeah... that explains my love life, I mean pretty much that was all of my love life, besides Shane of course, once upon a time. 

    One day, I met this lovely creature. I mean yeah, to most people she just had a lisp and only was getting views because her brother was dating Shane Dawson and her house in Colorado was haunted. To me, though, she was absolutely gorgeous. She ate a lot, like me, loves Cheez Thins, like me, and thrives off of snacks, just like me! Hey speaking of which, I'm hungry! Hang on, let me go get a snack!..... *15 minutes later* Alright guys I'm back, I couldn't decide what all to eat, so I just brought all of it. *Dumps snacks on table* This is my normal daily diet, and what I mean by diet, I mean stuff that will kill me eventually. Oh, and this one healthy snack that I kinda like. *points to the Fruit Snaps* Oh wait! Once again, a book, not a video! (Like and Subscribble)