It was Saturday morning and my cat Lily White was cuddled up in my neck purring. I could hear Grandma Barb and Grandpa Hugh downstairs making breakfast. Today I was going to stay at the Osbournes house for a week. Dad was finishing up the EAT ME. DRINK ME. tour and wasn't due home for about another week. He's been gone for almost 6 months and I missed him and the guys an awful lot.
While Dad and the guys were on tour my grandparents would come and stay at the house with me but they had to be getting home. Grandma has been really sick this past year and were all very worried about her heath and we all want her to rest so I talked it over with dad and Grandpa and decided I would go stay the last week of tour with the Osbournes. I absolutely love the Osbourne family so I'm not complaining. Sharon has always been a motherly figure to me and has always helped Dad and the guys out when they needed help raising me. Cause I mean lets get real here, Marilyn Manson and the rest of the band aren't always up to date on the latest parenting techniques. So the Osbournes has always been like a second home to me. I was always really close with Kelly, she calls me her little sister. When I was younger and the public didn't know about me Kelly always babysat me whenever dad and the rest of the band and the Osbournes attended the awards shows and parties.
Excited to go spend the rest of the week at the Osbournes I decided I better get up and ready. So I took a quick shower and got dressed and did my hair and makeup and went downstairs for some breakfast. When I walked in the kitchen I greeted grandma and gramps with good mornings and went to the table and grabbed a few pancakes off the stack in the middle of the table and started eating.
"These pancakes are really good guys." I told my grandparents. They both looked up from the newspaper they were reading and said thank you. But grandma looked at grandpa with her classic look and gramps laughed and said "Oh i'm just playing Barb."
Then looked at me and said "Thank your grams sweet pea. We both know if i cooked the pancakes the whole house would burn down."
I rolled my eyes and said "Well thank you grams they were excellent." My grandparents were so cheesy sometimes but that's just what I absolutely adored about them. I went to put my dish in the sink then got some juice out of the fridge and poured myself a glass when my phone started going off upstairs. I hope that's dad I haven't heard from him or the guys in a couple of days.
"Hello Mister Superstar" I answered. On the other end I could hear an out pour of what sounded like hello's from dad and the rest of the guys. Then a bunch of static and a very excited Twiggy answered with "We have a present for you" followed by a loud smack and a roar of laughter from the guys and twiggys cries in the background.
Then I heard dad yell at twiggy "Damnit it supposed to be a surprise you moron!" Oh gosh here we go again. Every year for my birthday dad and the guys always try to throw me a huge surprise party but somehow twiggys big mouth ends up revealing the whole secret. But im fine with it. I've never really liked suprises all that much.
"You guys aren't planning on throwing me a suprise party are you? You know I hate surprises, they give me anxiety. And I don't even like being around people that often!" I exclaimed to dad and the guys but something tells me I'm still getting a not so suprise party and forced to be around people. Ugh.
"Don't worry hunny we aren't throwing you a surprise party. I think we've learned from all of our previous attempts" Dad said reassuringly.
Im still not buying it until I see it for myself. "Promise?" I ask.
"Promise." Dad and the guys reply. Yeah, they're all a bunch of liars. Call it a hunch, or twiggys giggles in the background, but I know that they're still gonna try to throw me a "surprise" party.
"If you guys say so. How was the show last night?" I asked trying to change the subject as fast as possible.
"Fucking crazy. We filled the whole stadium. Not a single seat was empty." Dad replied.
"Yeah and we saw lots of tits." *SMACK* "OW! Damnit Marilyn stop fucking hitting me!" Twiggy exclaimed.
"Well stop being vulgar in front of my daughter you fucker! Now say sorry." Dad yelled at Twiggy.
"Sorry Jen" Twiggy said. I could just picture him sitting there sulking like a small child.
"Its okay Twigz. I miss you all so much I wish you could come home now."
"We do to Alice. And besides I'm sick of being around these fuck heads all damn day." Pogo said.
"Wow Pogo way to be sensitive to others feelings." I laughed. Pogo always had a special place in my heart because he was always the most sarcastic. He taught me his sarcastic ways from a very young age, so I've aways been a little sarcastic. But hey thats me, Jennifer Warner. Daughter of the anti-christ and a very sarcastic asshole. But what did you really expect? I was raised by Marilyn, Twiggy, Pogo, Gingerfish and Daisy.
"Yeah fuck you Pogo." I could just imagine the look on Dads face right now. It'd be his "what the actual fuck" look. I've recieved that look plenty of times from adopting Pogo's sarcastic ways. "Anyways, are you all packed for the Osbournes?" Dad asked.
"Yeah I just have to pack some of Lily Whites things and I should be done." I answered.
"Good girl. Behave at the Osbournes. Make sure you eat and dont forget to feed Lily White." Dad recited his famous reminders for the Osbournes. I couldn't tell you how any times I've heard it. Not that I mind or anything. But I am actually a very responsible teenager if I do say....well for the most part.
"Yes Dad. I will and I wont. I love you guys." I said. And out came a chorus of love you too's. I hung up the phone and finished packing Lily Whites things and carried them all down stairs. By the time I was done Sharon was at the door waiting for me and chatting with my grandparents. I went to put my things in Sharons car but when I came back I heard part of my grandparents and Sharons conversation.
"Make sure you keep an eye on her eating habits please, Sharon. Marilyn gave us specific directions to keep a close eye on her." Grandpa told Sharon.
"Dont worry I will keep a very, very close eye on her. I worry about her like shes my own." I lightly cleared my throat so they knew I was there and Sharon turned around abrubptly not expecting me to be there."Oh! Are you ready to do dear?" She asked.
"Yeah I think I got everything." I gave my grandparents hugs and said my goodbyes and said my thank you's for watching over me while dad was on tour and that I would miss them and reminded them to call Dad once they got home. Then I was off to the Osbournes for a week!
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Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to update.I had like half of the ending written and my computer freaking deleted it! Grrr... But I've also been busy with work and enjoying my summer. I'll try to update more often!
If you guys have any suggestions or advice on my writing or the story please let me know! This is the first story I've ever written so let me know what you think please! <3
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Smells like Children (Marilyn Mansons daughter)
FanfictionI was raised by the Anti-Christ himself.
