The Whispers of Silence

|6.|

Lenora Dutch

I decided I was going to hate him.

As stupid as that was, considering I saw him kill. I shuddered.

I didn't deal well with situations that weren't under my control, and I hated the way he'd treated me the previous night, like he knew everything about me. I spent hours and hours tossing and turning in my bed, unable to catch a wink of sleep.

Once I finally got out of bed, I kept my curtains firmly closed. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me ever again.

I got up and took a hot shower to get my mind out of the gutter. By the time I came out, Francine was sitting at the bar in my kitchen, groceries laid out all over the counter.

"You could have told me you were coming over," I said as I towel-dried my hair.

I walked to the window, and on an impulse, pulled the curtains open.

I didn't pause to see if he was looking.

"You never lock your door," she shrugged. "And I wanted to talk to you."

I wrapped my hair in a turban and leaned down to give her a fleeting kiss on the cheek. She smiled.

"What did you bring?" I asked.

"Donuts," she said, and I squealed with excitement.

This used to be our thing. Mine, Connor's, and Francine's. We'd all meet up at my apartment after a wild night out, and Connor and I would binge on the donuts Francine brought from our favorite bakery down town.

Francine never ate. 

Or if she did, she threw it all up when she got back home.

 Connor never noticed.  

She was starting to get better when we lost Connor, but now she was right back to her old ways. I never said anything about it, and neither did she. It was too painful to talk about, and I had no right to scold her when I was doing shitty things as well.

"How did last night go?" she asked me, and I shrugged.

I didn't want to tell her yet. A part of me wanted to keep the stranger to myself. Something told me, anyone else knowing wouldn't do me any good.

"I fucked that club guy," I said carelessly, knowing I was lying.

"Anders?" she asked, and I gave her a blank stare. "His name was Anders, Nora. I thought you would remember."

The old me would have been embarrassed. The new me just grinned at her and took a bite of the salted caramel donut that had made my fingers all sticky and sugary.

"How was he?" Francine raised an eyebrow at me.

"Boring," I replied, keeping it vague on purpose. "Did you fuck Rick?"

She looked down at her perfectly manicured fingernails and I gasped.

"You did, didn't you?" I squealed. "You freaking fucked him! Oh my God, you're finally not a virgin anymore!"

"Shut up!" She was blushing fiercely. "It doesn't matter. It wasn't that good, anyway."

"Of course it wasn't," I rolled my eyes, grabbing another donut. "The first time never is. Anyway, how come you did it? I thought you guys were just friends?"

"He came over to watch a movie," she said. "And we just... I don't know, it just happened. And I guess he was sweet. And nice. He made me drink a smoothie."