Ours [harry styles] ✓

Mistakes

*Harry's POV*

Nola's birthday party was just a blur. A big mess. One big cock up on my part. The saddest thing was, I didn't even have an acceptable excuse as to why I hadn't turned up. I had gone out with full intentions of coming back, but I just hadn't. The house had been full of balloons and banners, all in preparation for my daughter's first birthday party. I still couldn't get my head around the fact that I had a daughter, the fact that I'd had a daughter for the past year, despite only knowing her for a couple of weeks.

I loved Nola with everything I had, she had pride of place in my heart, but the fact that she'd already turned one made everything so real, and yet even more surreal for me. The fact I hadn't turned up to her birthday party just proved Marnie's doubts, I really was a terrible father and I was always going to be.

The look on Nola's face when I'd raised my voice would haunt me for the rest of my life. She'd shrunk away from me in fear, my own daughter had been afraid of me. And the disappointment in Marnie's eyes was just another blow to the head.

I buried my face further into my pillow, the hangover pounding against my skull like a constant drum. I could feel someone lingering in the doorway of my room, but I was too ashamed to look up, and so not in the mood for a lecture from one of the boys. My mother had given me a hard enough time.

Nola was never going to understand why her father hadn't turned up to the birthday party he had promised would be perfect. Marnie would never understand why I'd failed her. They'd never understand because I didn't either. I'd been so stupid, so immature. I was only young, but people looked up to me now and people were dependent on me.

"Do you reckon you could spare a moment of your time to talk to me, Harry? Or do you still only have time for yourself right now?" Louis' harsh words hit me. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, wishing he would go away.

A moment passed with neither of us saying a word. I remained with my face hidden from view, sprawled across my bed in just my boxers, wondering if Louis would get the message and find someone else to annoy.

"You were out again last night, weren't you?"

Eventually he spoke again and I heard him shift his weight against the door frame. "In fact, I know you were out last night. You didn't exactly make an effort to come in quietly, considering it was three in the morning. You're lucky Zayn didn't come up here."

"Go away." I mumbled, grabbing a fistful of duvet to prevent myself from lashing out.

"No, Harry, I'm not going to go away," Louis replied calmly. "I was willing to leave you to sulk in the first twenty-four hours, but you haven't tried to fix it and you're still self-destructing up here."

"I said, go away." I warned, prizing my head away from the pillow and throwing him a glare.

"You look like shit," He stated.

"It's none of your business." I buried my head again.

"Well, it is actually," Louis snorted. "Because of you, we aren't allowed to see Nola either. She's like a niece to us, Harry."

"There's nothing stopping you from going to see her." I snapped at him.

"The only person she probably wants to see from this house, is you, Harry. Her father." Louis replied, raising his voice.

"Marnie doesn't answer my calls." I mumbled.

"Maybe you should consider going round to see her?" I heard him sigh.

"Drop it, Louis."

"No, Harry, I am not dropping this. It's time you became a man and faced up to what you've done, rather than hiding away up here all day, and then partying all night to drown your sorrows. You turned up at the party completely wasted and then went straight back out and did the same. Your behaviour is affecting us all, it's time you stopped being so selfish."

I lost it then, forcing myself up from the bed and turning towards Louis, grabbing the bed post for support. I padded across the floor and backed him onto the landing, standing my ground in the doorway.

"I told you to drop it, Louis," I narrowed my eyes, irritated by the amusement spread across his face. "Just go back downstairs and leave me alone."

Louis took a step forward, his jaw tense.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, frowning in confusion. He took another step forward, shrugging. "Louis, back off, I don't want you in here."

"Tough he said. Things don't always go your way, Harry." He stepped forward again.

"Louis, you're really pushing my temper," I warned, wincing against the throbbing of my headache. "You're supposed to be my best mate; I don't need you turning against me too."

Louis stopped and smiled at me sadly. "Nobody has turned against you, Harry."

"They have," I whispered, a lump building in my throat. "I let my daughter down and she was afraid of me, Louis. She hid from me and she didn't even look back," My voice cracked and Louis put his arm on my shoulder, pulling me into a hug. I burst into tears, my cheeks flushing from the humiliation. "I've ruined everything!"

"You made a mistake, Harry," Louis said calmly, patting my back. "Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, even Harry Styles!"

"But I really fucked up this time, mate." I sobbed, swiping at my eyes.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you can't fix it." Louis assured me.

"How am I supposed to if Marnie won't even speak to me? She'll never let me make amends." I whimpered, pathetically.

"Harry, Marnie's only got Nola's best interests in mind. You have to remember that up until recently, Marnie was taking care of Nola on her own. She's bound to be over protective of her! I mean, think about it, you aren't just the typical everyday father, are you?" He smirked. "The majority of females around the world know who you are! You've got a full on career and you're only young, it was never going to be easy."

"That's no excuse for not turning up to the party though." I sniffed, pulling away from Louis and picking my shirt up off to the floor, pulling it over my head in one swift movement.

"True, but Marnie does understand that it's tough, Harry. You just have to talk to her about it."

"I can't believe I did this to her," I whispered, my bottom lip trembling. "We had something good going, Lou, I really care about her."

"I know you do, mate," Louis replied sadly. "This is why you can't stay in here for the rest of your life. Even the fans can tell when you're not happy and you've hardly spoken to us."

"I've let the band down too." I groaned, throwing my head in my hands, but the selfish part of me only really being concerned about letting my daughter down.

"You haven't," Louis assured me. "You just need to make sure you're back to yourself for the rest of the tour. We have the next few days completely free until we head to Europe, I suggest you make the most of it and sort things out."

A creak on the stairs averted my attention away from Louis and his advice. Zayn appeared in the doorway, his jaw tense and his arms folded. He narrowed his eyes at me and took in the state of my dishevelled appearance.

"It's about time you got a grip, don't you think?" He snorted.

"Very encouraging, Zayn!" Louis rolled his eyes, disappearing back down the landing.

"You know what I mean," Zayn said to me, smiling slightly. "I'm not good at this heart to heart stuff, Harry, but I do think it's about time you got your arse over to see Marnie and Nola."

"But what am I supposed to say, where I have no explanation?" I sighed.

"Well, you say just that," Zayn shrugged. "At least the paparazzi didn't catch them, there hasn't been a single story referring to them at all."

"That certainly would have made everything a whole lot worse." I groaned.

"I wish I could turn back time." I sighed, running my hand through my tousled curls.

"Well tough," Zayn replied simply. "Because you can't."

I knew Zayn meant well, and considering he was crap at this kind of thing, he was actually doing quite well, but his sarcastic remarks were starting to get on my last nerve.

"Right, well I think I get your point now, Zayn."

I stood up and l left the room, locking myself in the bathroom and turning to face the mirror. I didn't even look like me anymore. Once Marnie has walked out with our child, I'd just stopped caring. All I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and never come out.

There was a hammering on the door and I scowled at my reflection, failing to understand why nobody would leave me alone. My eyes, red and puffy from crying, began to water yet again.

"Harry, don't think you're getting out of this by locking yourself in there!" Liam shouted. Clearly Louis had provided the other two with a full update.

"He's got to get out of there first." I heard Niall mutter, closely followed by a thump and a hiss of pain.

"You've only got a few days until we go to Europe, Harry; you haven't got much time to deal with this and the sooner, the better." Liam sighed, drumming his fingers on the handle of the door. I watched it as it twitched on my side.

Thinking for a moment, I paced the bathroom, ignoring the freezing tiles on the bottoms of my bare feet and trying not to knock off any of Zayn's face and hair products that were lined up on every available surface.

"What if I get there and it's too late?" I called to them. "What if she decides I'll never be involved again?"

"Just cross that bridge when you get to it!" Niall replied. "You won't know until you try, mate."

"I'm scared of rejection." I mumbled, hiding my face behind my hands, despite no-one being able to hear me.

"What was that? We can't hear you very well through this door." Louis sighed.

"I'm scared of rejection!" I shouted back. "I don't want them to reject me."

Nobody said anything for a moment. I frowned at myself in the mirror and then unlocked the door, taken off guard when they suddenly all pulled me into a group hug.

"Whatever happens," Zayn smiled. "You're always going to have us."