I looked at her arm. it looked like it had been slit in half, a long, skinny red scar running from her wrist almost to her shoulder. "What happened?" I asked, not thinking how deep the question I was asking was. "Oh. I slit my arm.". Woah! What? I immediately thought. I nervously asked, "Are you...suicidal?" "Yeah." she replied, like it was an average thing. A fifth grader. I wanted to cry. But still, I said, "Please, don't do it, [Girl's name]! People love you. We love you.". It seemed like it went through one of her ears and out the other. Like I was overreacting. Like suicide was nothing. I was genuinely upset in the stomach. Really. I felt powerless. I couldn't help but imagine, this girl I was so close to, slitting her arm.... hanging from a ceiling fan; it was so heart breaking. But that wasn't the only time. My best friend in the world, [Girl's name] came to me one day and said, "Makayla. Hey. Don't tell anybody, but yesterday I tried to hang myself.". Tears began to sting my eyes. What if she did it and it worked that day, and I couldn't save her? "Why?" I asked, desperate. This was my best friend. She'd been with me from day one. "I don't know."She replied. "I love you. Don't. Don't do it. Please,". She, just like the last, shrugged it off. Then, this really charming boy, very happy-go-lucky, just flat out said,"I wanna die,". There's really no point in life.". I really didn't understand. People joked about suicide so much. I tried to think about why. Why? I am crying typing this. Innocent children. They don't understand. I didn't know what to do. So powerless. I understood them. I went through severe bullying at several times in my life. I thought the same thoughts. But I wanted so badly to help them. To tell somebody. So bad. But these people trusted me. It didn't feel right to say anything. So I didn't. We all grew up in dearborn heights, in a not-the-best public school, with people who's dads were in prison and all kinds of crazy stories. About 9/10 of the school was depressed and/or suicidal.
YOU ARE READING
Why?
Random[Keep in mind; this is a book covering the very touchy subjects of depression and suicide. This is a book of my struggles as a ten year old, as the people around me melted around nooses and blades.]
