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"Today I'm happy that I didn't succeed"

"So it's either going back to medication or you'll have to go with therapy. Such as group therapy once a week", the doctor said.

Jennie crossed her arms over her chest as she just looked at the doctor, which she thought was talking nonsense.

"Then I'll go back to medication", Jennie simply said.

Lucas looked over at her and then back at the doctor. It had been a tough couple of days, not only for his girlfriend but also for himself. Having too see her in this condition wasn't the easiest for him.

"I also think she will need therapy combined with medication, don't you think?", he said, looking at the doctor.

"Of course. That's what we always do. Medication is just a side tool", she smiled at Lucas.

Lucas let out a relief sighed before he once again looked over at Jennie who were just looking down at her hands.

"So I go to therapy twice a week and get a higher dose of medication?", Jennie asked, trying to understand the situation.

"Exactly and we'll find a good therapist that works with you and we'll also have check ups to see how the medication is going every month", she said.

Jennie nodded and looked over at Lucas, giving him a small smile, as a sign that it will be okay. That she somehow was doing better, even though she deep down knew she wasn't doing better.

-

"Do you like bell peppers or should we just skip them?", Mark asked Jennie.

Jennie looked down at the knife he was holding before she shrugged, even though the whole NCT squad tried to cheer her up. It didn't really work.

"Then we'll put them in a bowl. I mean Johnny doesn't really like them", Mark chuckled, looking up at Jennie.

"You know Jennie, I've also been depressed. Believe it or not, I've been in your situation wanting to kill myself. I tried but I failed and today I'm happy that I didn't succeed", Mark said, biting his lip.

Jennie's eyes widen as she listened to him, she really wasn't alone even though she had thought that almost her whole life. Since she got sick she had tried to make herself happy. Whatever it was drinking, going to parties, sleeping with boys, hanging out with friends, smoking or just faking happiness.

"I was fine until my brother left for the army. I had everything planned out, I was accepted to collage. Got my own apartment and I had friends that loved me. But the second he left and I knew I couldn't just knock on his door and get a hug; it all came back. Like the whole world just came crushing down at me", Jennie said, letting out a deep sighed.

"Have you told your brother that? What I've heard you guys have an amazing relation", Mark smiled at her.

"No I haven't. Because I know how much he loves the army. His job isn't to take care of me. I'm 18 and should be able to do it on my own", Jennie shrugged.

Mark bit his lip while he tried to figure out a good answer. Since he had been in the same situation he knew how hard it could be to ask for help. At the same second he was going to open his mouth to say something Taeyong walked into the kitchen along with Lucas.

"How are you two doing?", Taeyong asked.

"We're just fine", Mark smiled at them.

Jennie nodded in agreement before she looked down at her hands again. Lucas walked over to her and placed himself between her legs, with his back against her chest; wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Did you know that Jennie is a straight A student?", Lucas suddenly said.

Taeyong and Mark looked at her with widen eyes, being surprised and impressed since it was kinda hard to even get an A in school.

"Woah, I never even got an A. You must study all the time", Taeyong said impressed.

"It's not that hard. I may have trouble to remember things but I find most of the subjects easy", Jennie smiled.

"What's your favorite subject?", Mark asked.

"Ehm.. English and psychology. I love to learn about the brain", Jennie smiled widely.

"I mean it's interesting to know how we work and why we act in different situations. Also why we get sick and why we develop an depressio-", Jennie interrupted herself as she came to an understanding as she talked.

If I know so much about the brain already, why haven't I figured out a way to get out of my depression. There have to be an easy way out of it