She's not my girlfriend: a Marilyn Manson and the spooky kids fanfic

Peasants! Mystery girl pov

I sniffed his hair. Ew was all I could think. Knowing Brian, he probably never washed his hair and by looking at all the other people, I could say the same. Speaking of other people, I noticed this guy who kept twitching. Did he have Parkinson's?
No, that's only for old people, right? He was probably Jewish.
I wasn't gonna lie, it was getting kind of awkward due to the fact that I was still on top of Brian.
But the thing that made it even more awkward was the fact that this girl with sperm eyebrows was giving me the death stare.
Yes sweaty, I know I'm gorgeous, I thought.
I didn't wanna be a bitch though, so I insisted on being friendly.
Yay......not yay. In fact, gay....very gay.
"Um hello everyone," I said as I hopped off of Brian.
"It's about time you got off of my boyfriend," the girl with the sperm eyebrows said to herself.
"YOU KNOW WHAT MISS LITTLE SPERM EY- oh um I mean, you're so pretty and I really like how you were really admiring me over there hehe," I said to her while giving a smile faker than my boobs.
Instead of replying, she gave a confused look and rolled her eyes.
As soon as that ended, everyone was just looking at me. Shit, I need to say something to get rid of the awkwardness.
"Well, I guess all you peasants are wondering who I am, right? My name is-," before I could continue, some guy with Gucci clout interrupted me.
"Guys guys guys!"
"WHAT," everyone shouted.
"Do you guys like my Gucci skates," he said with such confidence.
If these were the people who Brian considered to be his "friends", then he was more fucked up than I thought.
Before I could say anything, Brian got in the front of everyone and starting talking.
"So uh you guys are probably confused, but its ok because when are you guys not. Am I right heh? But uhhhh I'm just going to introduce all of you to our new mysterious guest," he stated as he pointed to me.
The first person he introduced me to was this guy with dreads.
"This is Jeordie, my gay lov- I mean best friend and no homo."
Clearly he was gay for Jeordie.
The next person was the Gucci clout guy.
Now that I think about it, I think he was walking right behind me and starring at my ass in the parking lot. Nice.
"This is Gidget or Fiddle Grin and he has Bitcoin."
Gidget or whatever then winked at me.
Ew ew ew.
Brian then walked over to the Jewish guy.
"This is Scoot Pootesky, hes Jewish and has Parkinson's."
"Um actually it's Scott Putesky, gosh Brian."
I knew he was Jewish, but the whole Parkinson's thing got me shook. Poor guy.
Then Brian pointed to this other girl.
"This is Jessicka, but please pronounce the "K" cuz she's edgy."
She just rolled her eyes.
"And finally," Brian began, "This is my girlfriend Missi."
"GIRLFRIEND," I shouted.
What the in the actual fuck was Brian doing with a girl like her?!?!??
After that whole weird introducing me to all the retards thing, Brian walked over to me.
"Hey, maybe you and I should go skate together?"
"Yeah, I think it would make things less awkward," I replied as we walked away.
"Brian, where are you going," Missi questioned.
"I'm going to go skate with our new guest or is that too much of a problem for you?"
"Um yeah it is cause you said we could go and get nachos from the perv with the fake moustache," she angrily replied.
"You know what Missi? You could go get your stupid nachos by yourself because I don't want to hang out with you right now."
God these two argue like my parents and I hate my parents.
"Whatever Brian," Missi said as she walked away to the washroom.
Ugh this is gonna be a long day and it's only been 20 minutes.