Fight

6

TW

This has gone on for way too long, you think as you sit in the canteen, watching Demi from across the room.

After the whole thing in the garden a couple of days ago, Dr Michaels thought it would be a good idea to just stick with Molly.

"Someone less temperamental, let's say," as he gave you your instructions, "I don't want to overwhelm you on your first week on the job."

To be fair, it was really considerate of him to do that. And had it been anyone else, you would have felt relieved at not having to try and coax information out of a 'risky' patient. But with Demi...it felt more like a punishment. Like you were incapable of protecting her even though you knew her inside out.

But you couldn't say that to Dr Michaels. So you thanked him and left to find Molly.

You thought it was maybe a bit premature to turn back and ask what he meant by "risky"? You thought he said she was doing well? That she was projected for release any day? Dr Michaels probably would have told you anyway - he's pretty easy-going like that - but you didn't want to raise suspicion over how interested you are about a very specific patient.

If anything was clear from the garden, it was that Demi did not want him to know.

And who were you to screw her life up even more?

On that note, you had been tossing and turning every night since the incident, fighting the guilt about Demi. Nothing Emily could say to you convinced you that it wasn't your fault. What were you supposed to do, Y/n? Just back down and forgive her for cheating on you multiple times right under your nose?

"And besides...then we would never have gotten together..." she trailed off. Did that make it justified?

You didn't think so.

And seeing Demi in the canteen every day since has caused the eroding guilt to eat away at you as you try to think of how you should have handled the whole thing differently. The 'thing' all those years ago, you mean. Not in the garden. That was just the tip of the iceberg, really.

You had kind of made a pact with yourself to just leave her be. Your presence was obviously unwanted and she hadn't made any indication that she wants to speak to you since she walked away from you in the corridor. Or maybe that's because she doesn't make any signal...to anyone. Every mealtime, she sits with a vacant expression, not even picking up her cutlery to make it look like she's trying. You had watched every time, as Julie approaches behind her, bending down and whispering into her ear. Even from your position tables away, you can see how Demi cowers slightly, folding herself even closer to the floor.

You want to go and give that Julie a piece of your mind.

But you can't.

Or you just don't.

Today should have been no different. Sitting with Molly, as you had been doing the last few days, you were half-listening as she told you and the rest of the girls about her plans for when she gets released. It should be happening within the week and, truthfully, you were ecstatic for her. She was a lovely girl. And you appreciated the tours she would give you of all the hidden areas in the centre. You wonder how many of them were actually secret and how many the staff actually do know about. You never brought it up to anyone. You kind of wanted to remain the newbie who the patients trusted. They liked you because you were young and relatable. They liked you because you talked to them like normal people, without trying to diagnose. It made you question what it was like to be under the stare of the other nurses...