Gold || Merrikat

Chapter 7

like I mentioned in the last chapter, this one won't be long, just a brief summary of his birthday and before his surgery.

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"Jack, I don't care if it's your birthday or not, that does not give your the right to leave our bathroom a mess!"

"Can you hush for five minutes? I'm trying to watch The Loud House," I yelled back at Hayley's shenanigans.

"I'm kicking your ass later today," She exclaimed, joining me on watching the best cartoon on air.

It's only noon, but my birthday actually has been pretty chill so far. I woke up and video chatted with Derek for a few hours where he made an acapella pop-punk version of the happy birthday song, then Mrs. Williams made me breakfast in bed, pancakes with whipped cream, which Hayley shoved my face in. She hasn't given me my birthday present yet, but insisted that I wait until literally minutes before my surgery later today.

I probably should be panicking or at least a little scared, but I'm totally cool and collected right now. I'm as prepared as ever. Dr. McKinnon called last night and told me how everything's going to go down, so I'm not worried about all of that. I honestly just want to get this over with so everyone can stop worrying me.

As far as I know, not much is planned today besides said surgery. Hayley said she'd make it up to me when I actually heal, which is fine with me. As least she's actually doing something. My dad said he'd make it up to me before I go back to Baltimore as well, which I genuinely appreciated. As for my mom...I highly doubt she's going to do anything. Hell, she barely recognized my existence.

I probably shouldn't get so sappy on my birthday of all days, should I? Oh well, the sappyness usually happens at the end of the day, but those tears will probably be for the pain from surgery. I guess now I can think about how I'm finally getting this surgery after years of not being able to, wether because I was broke or because my mom is trash. I always told myself that when I finally get top or bottom surgery, that it wouldn't only symbolize me taking the next big step in transitioning. It would also symbolize how how much I'm changing, growing, and not caring about what others think, especially being from the south. It wouldn't only represent me transitioning to a male, but also becoming a man.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Hayley laugh at the screen. Clyde was currently going on about one of his fantasies with Lori, a reoccurring gag in the show that's extremely wholesome since she he's 10 and Lori's 17.

"Jack, you ever had a crush on someone that was way older than you at that age?" Hayley asked. Now that I think about it, did I?

"I don't think I did- oh! I did." I said lazily smiling to myself, thinking about her.

"Elaborate?" Hayley confusingly asked. I realized I was doing it again and snapped out of my thoughts.

"When I played soccer in middle school. I was about 11, and our coach was a douche, but his daughter was something else." I started smiling to myself again.

"Really? How hot was she? I need details." Hayley asked. I continued.

"Her name was Amanda, Mandy for short. When the team first started, she would always come out to wait for her dad to finish coaching, since the college she went to was close by." I explained.

"College?"

"Yeah, she was like 19 or 20. Anyways, she also played soccer outside of college."

"Like, for fun?" Hayley asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, something like that. She started helping her dad coach, and since our team was intergendered, she'd help with the girls and her dad helped with the boys. Unfortunately, Zack and I were separated, but I got to look at her every weekday from four to six, which were the best hours of my young life. She had long blonde hair with pink highlights, a nose ring, and there was always this light green shirt she'd wear during most practice that lowkey showed her abs off." I accidentally went on a tangent, but Haykey didn't mind, as she's just as interested in this story as I was.

"Abs? She must've hit the up gym a lot." Hayley commented, which I agreed with. She really was how I found out I wasn't straight.

"Yeah, she was basically a goddess." I smiled to myself. "How about you? Did you like a 20 year old when you were 10?"

"Well..." Hayley started talking about this guy named Xavier that used to work at his mom's old job. Somehow we went from taking about that to boring jobs our parents used to have, which lead to embarrassing childhood stories. We've been sitting here, finding things to talk about until it was time for me to go. Even though it seems weird to be, I'm glad that Haykey and I just simply chatted with each other about our pasts, like we used to do when we were bored. It was refreshing, to say the least. Hayley always lobed talking about the most random topics, and I was always down to listen and add my input. Our friendship is completely different from what Zack and I had. I was always the one who never shut up.

Eventually it was time to go, and this all didn't set in until Hayley and I were outside of the hospital. I know I said I was cool and collected earlier, but I take that back.

I'm still excited—don't get me wrong—but I'm also overthinking a but now. My dad said he'll meet up with me at the hospital after he gets off of work, but what about my mom? I don't want her to be there at all, but deep down inside, the kid in me just wanted my mom to be by my side through this.

Unfortunately, she won't be by my side through anything ever again.

"Hey, you ready? It's now or never, you know." Hayley reminded me, snapping me out of my depressing thoughts.

She had a point, I've been waiting for this moment for years, and it's finally here. All of long nights of crying about how much my body sucked and how I was too broke to fix it is finally gonna be over (or at least not happen as much). I've been crying about how much I wanted this—no, needed this for years, and the time is finally here. I'm finally on the road to becoming the man I am.

"Yeah, now or never."

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hello sorry for nit posting in like eons oof

but yes expect a big time jump in the next chapter :)

~ Timmy