Oblivion

Every Age, Every Stage

Chapter 6: Oli

I don't know if I can do this. Live through all of this insecurity anymore. How am I going to continue without her? How did I manage to get this far? Especially using all of her money... I love her so much... I miss her so much... I just wish everyone knew what happened... I couldn't tell them... Not yet, at least...

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Vic.
"DAMN OLI! This show was craziness! You're up, good luck dude. The crowd is going psycho out there."

"Oh, uh, thanks Vic, are you going to stay and watch my set?"

"Oh no, I twisted my ankle a little I'm going to go ice it. Good luck!"

With that he hobbles out of sight. I hope his ankle is okay, I mean we have another show tomorrow...

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I walk on stage, and stand in front of the amazing crowd that's there to see us preform.

"HOW THE FUCK ARE WE DOING TONIGHT?!"

The crowd cheers.

"I TAKE IT WE'RE DOING GOOD THEN?"

Another incomprehensible screamed response. God I love touring.

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"It's like I'm sleepwalking..."
I end the encore with a smile. There's a short little guitar solo and a couple drum beats.
"THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR HAVING US TONIGHT. WE ARE BRING ME THE HORIZON, GO BUY OUR MERCH AND LOOK FOR US. WE'RE GOING TO BE MEETING FANS FOR A LITTLE BIT IN THE FRONT OF THE VENUE."

I feel bad because we aren't going out there... The venue asked us to say that so the crowd will all run outside thinking we're there. We wouldn't have been able to play our first show in Tokyo otherwise...

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I walk onto our small makeshift tour bus. It's literally a bus. It takes us from our show to our hotel and vice versa. Everyone's there to greet me. The first is Jaime.

"Great fucking job! I watched the entire show! You guys did wonderful."

"Thanks Jaime, it means a lot. And it also means a lot that all of you could be here tonight!" I call out to everyone. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go take a walk."

"Be careful. I don't want to have to come find you!" Jack calls after me.

"What're you going to do? Chase me back to the bus with your pants down?!" I joke back.

Walking off the bus, I walk around the venue for a little, then I decide to go and try to find a bar. Something to clear my head. Weed. Even a girl. Something.

Three steps away from the venue I find a bar. Great. I walk in and order two shots of the cheapest whiskey. I've found it's the easiest thing to get drunk from. Two shots turn to four, and four turn to eight. Finally I'm at peace. The bartender looks at me.

"Rough night kid?"

"No. It was great. I just preformed for thousands of people, I can't be happy or content."
I'm surprised he knows English so fluently, then again everyone here knows at least a little...

"What do you mean?"

"Well no matter what I do I'm unhappy. I just wish to feel something other than this. I'm not even unhappy actually... More guilty... I... I did something horrible. I can't seem to get over it."

"What did you do?"

I go to make up some lie, but at that moment my phone rings.

"Mike."