bad hearts [nct jaemin]

four

the next morning, your woke up to your blarring alarm. you squint at the time and it reads 5:50 am. you push yourself off of bed and head into the shower, grabbing your toothbrush along with you as you brush your teeth and wash your face.

you change into the school uniform and dry your hair with a towel, combing it later with your fingers and sighing as you pack your needed books for the day and head out to go downstairs. the wall clock reads 6:15, and you decided to pack lunch since you don't have the appetite for breakfast. and as soon as you got downstairs, you notice someone was already in the kitchen.

"brother?" you call out. surely it was him.

"i told you to call me mark." he was bending over to reach for milk in the fridge. you make a face and shift your gaze to the bowl of dry cereal on the counter. he pours his milk and sits, shoving a spoonful into his mouth.

"why're you up so early? your classes don't start till 9." he states, not looking at you. his voice was so hoarse, so dead.

"school project," you breathed, walking towards the fridge to search for anything at all that can let you pack for lunch. but the frigde was mostly empty. only a pack of sandwich cheese sits in the chiller, 2 tubes of tomatoe and mayonise sauce lays sideways by the second rack, and there were a pack of carrot sticks and a can of whipped cream. you cringed.

you haven't walked to school with mark since last year. he's been getting up way earlier than you do and getting to basketball practice with his friends. he eats out almost every night, sometimes doesn't even comes home. he doesn't answer texts or calls from you, and both of you basically stopped communicating even though you were under the same roof.

he wouldn't look or say anything even if he were to pass by you at the halls in school. he'd pretended you were nobody, and just carries on with his life as if you were never his little sister in the first place. you spent nights thinking about this: did he behaved like this because you were an embarrassment? if yes, what did you do? or was it because he just decided you were a nuisance, or a burden? that he can't handle being your older brother that he has to shut you out and push you away completely?

you slam the door of the refridgerator shut, and spun at the balls of your heals to charge through the front doors. you didn't even notice tears were pooling in your eyes, at the verge of falling down your red cheeks any second. you can't stop thinking of mark. now he doesn't even wants you to call him your brother now. and there was not even anyone else in the house, no one could've heard you if you called him brother, no one could've heard you said anything and it was supposed to be something just between you and him; and it was, but why was it like this?

you hear the door close behind you and quickly march down the steps and scurry your way to school. you reach for your phone which was in your pocket to check the time; it was half past six now, and you wipe your tears with the edge of your sleeves and continue a fast pace to rush to school.